


Happiness and Disaster

by MikaCheshire



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Attempted Rape, F/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Psychological issues, Warning: Loki, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2013-06-08
Packaged: 2017-11-22 14:45:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 23,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/610966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikaCheshire/pseuds/MikaCheshire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Is it really that bad to ask for at least a semi-normal life? Just do some missions that save some people and whatnot, with the occasional downtime of a normal human. Is that too much to ask for?</i>
</p>
<p>Agent Ivona Page is a telepath that has been working with SHIELD for several years. It's just her luck that she's on duty at the sight of Project: P.E.G.A.S.U.S. when the war-criminal Loki pops out of a portal from space. It's just her luck that Loki not only takes control of her coworker Clint, but also her. </p>
<p><i>"And you, my dear, have gift of the mind,"</i> he said. <i>"You shall be of use,"</i> he said. </p>
<p>When she was offered a job at SHIELD, she knew it would be dangerous. But she didn't sign up for this. To suddenly be the obsession of this maniac so-called god, <i>'king'</i>, that all he did was oppress her and use her. </p>
<p>And she certainly didn't sign up to be his <i>'queen'.</i></p>
<p><i>This was </i>so<i> not part of the contract. </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cosmic Cube and Free Wills

“Got a guess as to what’s happenin’ with the Tesseract?” the brunette asked the other next to her. They looked over the giant chamber that surrounded the glowing cosmic cube that lay in its centre.

“Well, isn’t the Cube a doorway to another end of space?” the male by her side asked. He carefully watched over the scientists scrambled below his perch to find out what was happening. He kept his arms crossed and held onto the yellow bars in front of them.

“Well, yeah. That’s what they said, Clint.” She stretched her arms over the bars, lazily drawing her head back and looking at the grey ceiling.

“Well, it’s got to be inference from the other side then,” he continued, his eyes never straying from the sight of the science experts below. “Also, Director Fury just arrived.” He smirked when he heard her groan.

But she continued with their conversation about the cube. “So, like…maybe something’s trying to enter our world?” she asked, bringing her head forward and looking at him.

He looked at her briefly from the corner of his eyes. “Keep your gun on you then. Your mutation might not work on aliens or whatever it might be.”

She grimaced at the thought. “ _Aliens_ …this is total shit.”

They suddenly heard Fury over their earpiece, “ _Agent Barton, Page, report_.” The two easily slid down the rope and met up with their boss. Agent Page continued to look around, letting Barton talk with the older male. She hardly listened to them, her curiosity more on the science around her.

“I gave you this detail so you could keep a close eye on things.”

“Well, I see better from a distance.”

“Have you seen anything that might set this thing off?”

“No one’s come or gone. Agent Page has went through everyone, they’re all clean. No contacts, no IMs. If there was any tampering, sir, it wasn’t at this end,” Barton finished by crossing his arms.

“ _’At this end’_?” Fury asked in confusion.

“Clint and I were just talking about this, sir. The Cube is a doorway to space. Well, doors open from both sides,” Agent Page explained in place of the archer.

They flinched at the small burst of energy the Tesseract decided to give off, blue light crackling. They stepped back, the female agent farther back than they did. The entire population of the chamber stopped and watched the cosmic cube. It started to gather a large amount of energy, swirling blue light building and suddenly shot out towards the receptor platform that sat below the dome. It was a shock to all when an electrifying blue portal began to open, momentarily showing them the blackness of space and the stars that shown brightly. The energy then shot out, spilling across the room and floating up into the air, concentrating at the dome.

Once the blue energy sizzled out, they saw what the Cube had brought forth. In the middle of the receptor platform a man kneeled on one knee, in one hand a sceptre that contained a sharp blue light between its blades. He slowly rose from his knee and looked at the humans before him.

Agent Page took note of his features as other agents cautiously approached the unknown with their weapons. He was tall, his black hair pulled back. He wore strange armour consisted of black leather with green cloth and golden plates of armour. Upon seeing his face, though incredibly handsome, she didn’t need to read his mind to know – she could so easily see in those green eyes the madness that swirled within his mind. Pure rage and madness, and _power._

“Sir, please put down the spear!” Fury yelled at the possible hostile.

He slowly looked down at his weapon…and fired. Clint pushed their boss out of the way and Agent Page landed onto the ground from the blast when the energy hit the machines to the side of her. The hostile jumped, the bullets not even gazing him, and he stabbed the closest agent. He quickly turned around and threw two daggers at the men across the room, effectively hitting them in their necks. With ease he continued his onslaught.

The female agent scrambled onto her feet, cursing herself for not being ready, and grabbed for her gun. But as she watched the other agents shoot at him, she noticed none of it affected him. Fear took her over as she kept her aim on him, her hands slightly shaking.

With a last kick to an agent, the hostile paused and assessed the damage he caused. When Clint struggled to get up, the unknown man took him by surprise and gripped his hand that held his gun. “You have heart,” the taller man said as he touched the sceptre to Clint’s chest.

She watched as a pulsing blue glow slipped into the agent’s chest. His eyes hardened to a stone-cold black that quickly dissipated into a glowing blue. She could feel the blankness of his mind when she tried to prod it with hers. It was then that she realized that her fellow agent belonged to this unknown individual. When Barton replaced his gun into his holster, she said in panic, “Barton, _no.”_

Because of her mistake, the hostile looked back to her. Despite the fact that she aimed a gun towards him, he walked towards her, a malicious smile on his face but a curiosity in his eyes. With his own weapon he hit hers out of her hands, the gun sliding away from her reach. Unable to move from fear, she only gasped when he gripped at her throat and brought her face close to his.

“And you, my dear, have gift of the mind,” he said as he placed the tip of the sceptre to her chest. “You shall be of use.” Her mind struggled against the dark energy that clawed for control of her mind. Though it was only seconds, her mind felt as if it resisted for hours and she soon succumbed to the dark magic, her abilities be damned. He smiled at the new addition when she calmed and stood before him with a blank expression. She went and took back her weapon as he took control of one more agent.

“Please don’t.” Fury paused in trying to run with the briefcase that contained the cosmic cube. “I still need that.”

“This doesn’t have to get any messier,” Fury said, his back towards the hostile.

“Of course it does. I’ve come too far for anything else.” The SHIELD director finally turned and faced the oddly dressed man who controlled three of his agents. “I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.” 


	2. What To Do?

“Well, then,” Loki said as he looked to Agent Barton.

After their quick exchange of words, Barton shot Fury and they retreated from the chamber, but not before taking the Cube with them. The archer gave Selvig the briefcase as they all followed their new boss. Seeing the exhaustion in Loki as he slightly stumbled, Agent Page quickened her pace and placed a steady hand on his back.

Once they got to the underground loading dock, Loki walked straight and regal but kept the brunette by his side, his curiosity in her brewing. The others were easy to control, wills easy to bend. But she, this weak _Midgardian_ , was capable to actually _try_ to fight his control. Even now he felt it as they escaped, her will trying to fight his.

Lieutenant Hill stood by and looked at them in slight confusion. Loki sat into the bed of the truck, motioning for his only female agent to join him as the others entered the vehicle. “Who’s that?” Hill asked Barton as he walked towards the truck.

“They didn’t tell me.”

“ _Hill!”_ Fury called over the radio in Hill’s hand. Loki and Page snapped their heads at the SHIELD agent. “ _Do you copy? Barton and Page have turned.”_ In quick reaction, Barton turned around and whipped his gun out, Page doing the same and aiming at the slender woman.

Hill rolled out of the way and around a corner, hiding from the archer’s shots. He quickly got into the car and drove them away. As they pulled up the ramp, Hill re-emerged and shot several rounds before getting into a vehicle and chasing after them.

Several shots from Agent Page and a blast from Loki’s sceptre took out a few cars that were on their tail. But when they thought they were in the clear, Hill came from around a corner and drove her car in front of theirs. With quick manoeuvring Clint was able to knock her vehicle off their front and soon they were out from underground.

But their fight was not over yet. The helicopter that Fury was in followed and hovered close to the vehicle that Loki was in. He stood on the back of the bed and took aim. The blue energy hit the helicopter and it caught in flames. The SHIELD director jumped out and rolled onto the ground. He quickly rose to one knee and shot several rounds at the retreating vehicle.

Next to Loki, Agent Page shouted out in pain and clutched at her shoulder, one of Fury’s rounds had hit her. The pain not only made her whimper but woke up her strong mind; it now struggled again through the dark energy that controlled her.

Hearing her cry of pain and feeling her free will coming back, Loki looked at the female next to him. He’d rather not lose her, a talent that could be of great use. So he lets his hand slip over her eyes and uses his magic to bring her to sleep. He settles back into the bed of the truck and wound an arm around her waist. As they drive away to a safer place, he thinks of the things that need to be done.

And he thinks of what he could use this Midgardian woman for. Her powers, he wonders to what extent they can reach, just how strong she really is. She could certainly become a great asset so long as he can break that will that contains to fight his. He looks down at the woman. She was surprisingly young, dressed in a black leather catsuit with SHIELD’s logo on her upper right arm. Her dark brown hair was kept in a bun that was now messy from the action. Before taking her free will, he had seen that her eyes were a deep brown colour. Her skin was a few shades darker than his, healthy and tanned. 

Breaking that spirit would certainly be fun.

 

* * *

 

The _pain_ , the _heat_ \- she was not expecting that when she woke up.  Actually, she didn’t know what to expect. The pain in her shoulder was strong, so _strong_. She could feel the gauze that wrapped around it. She was confused, but fought down the panic as she tried to remember what happened. After her new boss – wait, _no_ – after Loki had taken her free will, they had escaped the underground, but not without some casualties on SHIELD’s side. And…and one of Director Fury’s shots had hit her. But why was everything else blank? Where was she and why was she able to think for herself again?

She slowly picked herself up from where she lay. Only now she realized the top half of her catsuit was zippered open and her arms slid out of the sleeves. The soft leather pooled around her hips as she sat up, the tank under it exposed. She let out a shaky breath when dizziness and nausea hit her. Agent Page felt disoriented as she looked over to her shoulder, noticing the blood soaked gauze wrapped around her injury. As best as she could in her state, she concluded by how she felt that the gunshot wound had to be infected.

_Fuck_.

Despite her better judgement, she unstably got out of the bed. She swayed for a moment, arms spread out to balance herself as the room around her spun. Steadying her breathing, she closed her eyes to let the vertigo pass before examining the room she occupied. When it passed she opened her eyes and looked around slowly; dirty white bricked walls and a cold concrete floor that she could easily feel with her bare feet. There was a small table with two chairs on one side of the room, away from the bed and only two doors.

She knows she should escape, but also thinks of SHIELD when she walks to one door. Opening it she finds a small bathroom. As she slowly rummaged through it, trying to find anything, she thinks as best as she can over her situation. If she cannot escape, which she thinks might be the case, she’ll work to find out as much information as possible. Once she gets back to SHIELD, which she hopes will happen in time, she’ll give them everything she finds out.

She’s done spy missions before. It was even easier for her with her mutation; telepathy is always helpful in that field. She’ll have to work with who’s controlled. Maybe, _hopefully,_ even break the control over Clint. They were good agents; out of anyone here, she’s sure they could at least escape. She’s not sure about…Loki though. Being unknown to her, he’s an unpredictable variable in this whole mess. Just the fact that _bullets_ just bounced right off of him struck some reasonable fear in her.

She felt the bathroom and shuffled to the middle of the room, examining it once more. She knows she should look over every corner but in her state she’s unable to. She’s feeling more feverish and the pain is increasing, her arm now hanging uselessly at her side from the pain.

As she looked around in an almost confused way, the door clicked. Walking in was the one man she was dreading to see. She steeled her expression, holding her ground as Loki watched her.

“My, my. Someone’s already up…and wandering. Might I add that you look just _dreadful,_ ” he mocked her, a sickening smirk playing on his thin lips. 


	3. Let This Be a Warning

“ _‘Dreadful’_? Well, you certainly know how to win a girl’s heart,” she bit back, her voice dripping with sarcasm. He chuckled at her words, and to say that she was a little unsettled by it was a great understatement. She hid her growing fear as he walked towards her. Her eyes flashed quickly to the sceptre in his hand, sharp and threatening. Honestly, she knew she was walking on thin ice just by talking back to him. It was so obvious he was unstable. Like any wrong word could send her to her grave.

She watched him and tensed, holding her breath when he stopped just short of two feet in front of her. “I didn’t expect such a tongue on you.” If it wasn’t for this situation and his obvious volatility, she probably would have liked how his voice sounded, smooth, deep. Except it only made her more anxious at the calm in his voice, betraying the very state of his mind right now.  

She swayed a tiny fraction, unable to stop herself as she grew wary. Apparently he had noticed it because he smirked all the more. “Why am I here?”

“Why, you’ll be of use to me, of course. I would be a fool to let go of a beneficial creature such as yourself.” With this, he started to circle her, and she ground her teeth, trying to hide any panic that he caused from his movements. She had a feeling that someone like him would take joy in seeing her fear.

She stood her ground. “You actually expect me to _help you?_ ” she couldn’t help the slight hysteria that escaped her. It was clear in her voice how she thought the notion as pure absurdity.

“And are you sure it is a clever idea to defy me? You are weak, in pain,” he stated, disappearing from her peripheral view and walking behind her. “Do you know how simple it would be for me to make you _wither_ in pain? To make you _scream_ until your throat bled? Until you begged for me to end your _minuscule, insignificant life?_ ” She looked at the ground as he talked, promise in his threats hung in the air. She could feel the cool brush of his breath against her ear as he spoke to her, looming from behind. “ _Are you sure that would be a wise decision?_ ”

He entered her range of sight again, coming from the other side and making a full circle around her shaking body, ready to collapse from exhaustion already.

“But such a fate could be averted,” he continued, saying as if he was going to offer her something infinitely better. She watched anxiously as he procured a small vial from within his leather coat. “I can offer you a simple escape. Join me; serve me, your king. I will let you heal and give the freedom you _truly_ desire.” He ended with a smile.

Her foggy mind tried to wrap around his words, a slight buzzing filled her ears. Her mind struggles, but brings forth the memory of his words to Fury the night of his appearance on Earth. _I come with glad tidings of a world made free – of_ freedom _._

She wants to kick herself in the face when the next words tumble from her mouth. “I’d rather suffer than side with _you_.”

She then finds herself grabbed by the throat and thrown into the nearby wall. Crumbled on the ground, her back flaring in pain, she realizes that he was actually holding back. Fear truly sets in when she sees his boots walk towards her. Blinking away tears, she holds in a breath, waiting for the next assault. And she’s right to do so when he yanks her up by her shoulder length hair. Agent Page scrambles to get up, wincing at the added pain in her scalp and biting her lip to hold back a scream.

She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of hearing it.

But she can’t suppress the shuddered of fear fall down her spine when the cold metal blade of the sceptre is put against her throat, just below her jaw.

“Why do you struggle? Humans are made to be ruled. You _crave_ subjugation yet _you_ struggle!”

_Ah,_ she thinks, finally seeing him snap. She’s not sure what’s gotten into her, but she feels almost satisfied in getting him riled up. It takes all her will power (and will to live) not to spit in his face. “Maybe I’m not _made_ to be ruled,” she rasps, struggling to breathe through the pain.

He smirks at her, the deranged look in his eyes easing away a bit. “Are you sure of that?” The blade of the sceptre slips away from her neck and is driven into her shoulder, right into the wound. She clenched her eyes shut and a blood-curdling scream ripped from her throat. Tears spilled from her eyes, running down her cheeks.

With a pleased look, he let her drop back to the ground in a crumbled mess of limp limbs. Loki used his boot to toe her onto her back and placed his foot on her stomach. Though he was aware she was basically unable to move, he wanted to make the statement that he _did_ in fact have control over her. “Let this be a warning to you, you foolish woman. In the end, you will always be beneath me. So make your choice by the time I come back for you, or you _will_ perish.”

Her whimpering died down by the time he finished speaking and soon enough she had gone entirely limp, passed out from the pain. He looked over the unconscious woman with an almost bored expression. She would be a challenge that was certain. His eyes catch a glimpse of patches of scarred skin on her arms and moves them with the flat side of the sceptres blade for a better view.

_Hmmm_ , another talk with Agent Barton should give him more information on this intriguing woman.

The God of Mischief leaves her crumbled form. Outside the room, he orders one of his controlled men to attend to her before leaving towards the Tesseract and to where the archer is. 


	4. Good Girl

_Pain, pain, pain!_ It’s stabbing, it’s burning, it’s dull and aching.

She feels sick from it. If it wasn’t for the fact that her stomach was empty, she’s sure she would vomit. So instead she rolls to her side gently and dry heaves for a few painful seconds. Her head is spinning and everything feels hot. She can barely remember what had happened, her fever fogging her mind.

She stops trying to recall earlier events when she feels a damp rag placed on her forehead. _Oh god_ , it felt so refreshing. So cool compared to all this heat. It takes her a long moment before she wonders where it came from. Opening her eyes finally, she sees Barton standing by her bedside.

“Finally up, Ivona?”

Looking at his eyes, her heart breaks a little, seeing them glow blue. But she still tries to slip into some familiarity, hoping that the same man she worked with for several years was still in him. “It _hurts_ , Clint.”

“I know. I’ll go get the big guy; maybe he’ll help you this time.” Before she found the strength to refuse, he had left.

Ivona curled back to her side, trying to think. She wants to cry though, the pain and sickness and fever unbearable, but she won’t. She would _not_ let that bastard see her broken. So she plans. In her condition, no escape would be possible, so she sets herself to learning Loki’s plans and to find a way to contact SHIELD. She’ll have to agree to join him. But she needs to know what he expects of her, how she’ll… _serve_ him. The thought makes her blanch. She hopes it’s nothing too bad.

If he’s giving her a choice, then that must mean he either sees no point in controlling her or he can’t. The brunette leans towards the latter. Her mutation is what probably helped her break it. But she’s not sure if she’s grateful actually. In this situation, would it be better if she didn’t have to fight or choose?

No, _NO._

That would be his exact point. That humans craved a life where they didn’t need to choose. Where all they needed to do was sit and listen to what was told to them.

It frightens her that she even let a thought like that pass her mind. Just the idea of bowing down, wholly wilful to a god-like ruler like _him_ is sickening. How could we ‘ _crave subjugation_ ’ if every day, throughout history, we fought for our freedom, our rights? What made him think that?

_Inferiority complex?_ She inwardly laughs at the thought.

She doesn’t have much time to think of other things when she hears the door open. The brunette moved her gaze towards the noise and saw the tall form of Loki again. She thinks it’s a waste that someone that handsome could be so cruel, unstable (a thought that she blames on the fever).

“Have you finally decided to join me?” he asked her calmly.

She pursed her lips, wary of what to say. “That depends, what is expected of me?”

He chuckled deeply at her caution. “Simple, you follow my orders.” He smirks when he sees her discomfort and fear in the little words that he spoke. “Come now, it would be so much easier if you just joined me. Even if I did not end you here, you would surely perish in the state you are now.”

He gives her several seconds to maul over his words, slipping the small vial of healing potion back into his hand. He knew it was visible to her when her brown eyes flickered to it. “Well?”

“…Fine.”

He smiles, somewhat satisfied. He knows that strong will of hers still lurks in that pain-ridden form, and he’s content in knowing that he’ll break that will soon. It’s more fun to watch it writher away slowly, otherwise where would be the fun in it? “Such a good girl.”

Ivona hates how he says it, like she’s some puppy being trained a new trick.

“Now, I’ll give you this,” he waves the vial, “if you answer a few questions.”

She grimaced, but doesn’t object. She’s knows this trick though. It’s so he knows if she will truly cooperate. With Barton in his control, she wouldn’t put it past him to ask Clint the questions first and then ask her to verify her truthfulness. A simple trick really, and one that makes her _have_ to answer them in truth, lest she suffer another bout of his wrath.

“Of course,” she said, and when seeing an expecting look on his face, she added, “ _sir_.” He took it for now. She would learn soon enough.

They took several minutes with questioning and answering, and with each time she answered, he seemed more pleased.  “Excellent, darling. Your information will prove rather helpful, seeing as I had yet to ask Agent Barton.” He placed the vial in her waiting, shaking hand. “Heal quickly. There is more I expect you to do later.”

When he left, she gritted her teeth in anger. She had fallen into a double trap.

_Sneaky, little shit_.

She looked back at the vial in her hand. She felt the need to throw it from the rage the brewed within her, but her body needed it. If what he said was true, it was supposed to heal her. She isn’t sure how, but at this moment, she doesn’t care. The pain is overbearing, getting to the point where it’s paralyzing.

She licked her lips before uncorking it and downing the unknown liquid. She struggled but soon swallowed the whole thing, her mouth twisting from the bitterness. The effects were quick, the pain slowly dissipating, and she felt a comfortable drowsiness that began to take her. Before she lets sleep bring her into a haven of dreams, she gently tugs the possibly new, but already bloody gauze away from her wound. It’s nasty and obviously infected.

She goes to sleep; hoping whatever he gave her will help. 


	5. Worth

When Ivona wakes up again, she feels better, infinitely better than before. Like she can freely breathe again. She lets herself indulge in the feeling for a moment before getting up. She looks over to her injured shoulder and blinks in unhidden surprise. Though a large line from after he had stabbed her with his sceptre, it’s already scabbing. The brunette is shocked at this, confused by how possible this is, but leaves it be.

Right now, she wants to take a shower though. She doesn’t know how long she’s been here, but it’s already been long enough without washing up. It’s disgusting and she throws her legs over the edge of the bed. Standing and walking to the bathroom, she couldn’t be more pleased that the dizziness had receded and she was more alert than before.

Eventually cleaned, she redressed, but before putting on the catsuit completely she looked over the wound once more. He really wasn’t joking when he said it would help with healing. She’s sure it’ll leave a scar though. She shrugged _, what was one more?_ But what made her wonder was how he made that bitter medicine before. She was beginning to wonder how he did a lot of things, like the mind control for instance. Would it be stupid of her if she wanted to know more about her captor? No, he was the enemy. It was always good to know more about your enemy.

When she re-entered the room, she was met with the sight of Loki. She cleared any surprise from her face as she saw him watch her from where he sat at the table. Ivona inclined her head towards him a bit, saying, “Is there something I can help you with, sir?” After several years, spy missions have become easier for her, but she feels like a newbie agent now. She’s not like Natasha who can do a job _completely_ by herself, but even so she usually only has other as backup. So standing here, in front of the enemy, knowing she’s alone, it’s unnerving, _especially_ without a weapon (not like it could hurt it though).  

“We have a few things to do,” he replied, a smirk tugging at his thin lips and rising from his seat. “Come,” he told her once, walking towards the door. She didn’t hesitate and followed, making sure to put every twist and turn into memory as they walked. _Left, straight for three doors and halls, right, left._ She took quiet note that outside the door of the room they then entered was two of Loki’s controlled lackeys.

Ivona looks over the bare room, only occupied by her and her ‘new boss’. And when her mind tells her to run, she struggles against it and quietly waits for Loki to talk.

“We’ll be measuring your worth for my army. Agent Barton’s told me quite a lot about you,” he says to her matter-of-factly, shifting his sceptre from one hand to the other. He watches her like prey.

And she watches her predator back, a curiosity in her spiking when she notices the interest he holds in his smooth voice. “Is that so, sir?” She wonders how much Clint’s told him, against his will.

This time she doesn’t tense nor fear when he raises the sceptre’s blade towards her. Its tip taps the underside of her chin, making her raise her head more. “I’m to be king of this wretched realm, so regard me as such.” His tone is cool, an undertone of prideful vanity and misplaced superiority in it.

Once the blade is withdrawn, she plays the role of the wilful servant. Bowing lightly at the waist, she says to him, “I am sorry, my king. I was not aware.” When she heard a hum of approval, she raised her head once more.

“Your power, telepathy, how far does it reach?”

“The range hasn’t been fully tested, my king. But I would suspect at least a few miles, if not several.”

“How many people are here?”

 _A test._ Closing her eyes (which she’s aware could be a bad idea), she searches every mind surrounding them. “At this moment? Thirty-seven people.”

He doesn’t say if she’s correct or not and instead continues on. “If Barton was correct, you can do telepathic illusions.” Loki says this as a fact, not as a question.

So far, Ivona thinks, this is easy. She can handle this. “That is not false.”

He glances to the closed door. “Then make the men outside believe…” a sickening grin spreads upon his face as he pauses, “believe that one of them is aflame.”

Taking a deep breath, she doesn’t deny him. Pressing the forefinger and middle finger of one hand to her temple, she focuses on their minds. It takes only a few tense seconds to hear screaming and yells come from the other side of the door. _“Fire!” “I’m on fire!”_ She doesn’t stop until she hears a low, mocking laugh tumble from Loki.

The noise ceases after a moment and she looks back to her ‘king’. He seems utterly amused by what she had done, _by his orders_.

“What else can you do?”

She pushes the guilt over the scare she had caused the men outside, instead answering to the raven-haired man. “I can cloak and camouflage myself, create psychic links with others, absorb information-”

“Can you control others?”

She warily watches his expression. “No, sir. I’ve never once tried.”

“But you have the ability.” _He sees her as a threat._

“I suppose so. But you are in charge, my king. To do that not of your request would be to go against you.” She’s careful of her words and even lowers her head in submission.

“I’ve also heard from Barton that you are known to be quite the troublemaker at that pathetic organization you had worked for. So I wonder how much you are saying is true.” He begins to circle her again, like she is simple prey that has finally been cornered, ready to be brought down, killed.

“I wonder how strong your powers _really_ are.” He circles her once, stopping in front of her. _So close. Too close._ She hopes it won’t be a repeat of last time. She doesn’t feel like being wounded again.

 _“_ Shall we test it? How do you fare against _me_?”

 _A final test_.


	6. Minds and Memories

A cool hand touched the side of her face and she felt him searching.

She retaliated and her own hand brushed his temple.

 

* * *

 

_It was a normal day._

_It was_ supposed _to be a normal day._

_“C’mon, Levana, it’s getting dark. Mother and Father will get angry if I don’t bring you home soon.” Ten year old Ivona shouted to her younger sister that was playing on the play set in the nearby park._

_The five year old girl beamed at her older sister, her long brown hair curly with hazel eyes that shone brightly. “Please, Ivona! Can we play for a little more?” She begged before going down the slide. The child bounced to her, hands reaching up to the middle sized rubber ball in Ivona’s hands._

_“We can’t. Maybe tomorrow,” she replied with a smile. Levana pouted at the answer, but quickly gave up when the eldest handed her the pink ball._

_“Maybe Mommy or Daddy can come next time?” she asked, bouncing the ball on the ground._

_Ivona gave a tight smile, eyes closed. “Ask next time. Maybe they will.” She knew they wouldn’t though. Their father was always drinking his life away as their mother worked all day. As much as they favoured the youngest, they still didn’t have ‘time’ to play with her._

_But Ivona didn’t mind. She wasn’t jealous of her younger sister for being loved more. She was actually happy about it. The child deserved a happy childhood, one that wasn’t like her own._

_She would always love her little sister._

 

* * *

 

_Snowy white and biting cold._

_A decrepit realm filled with a vicious race of monster with icy blood, blue skin, and blood red eyes._

_Thor, that moron, had to start a fight with the frost giants. He couldn’t stop and think, because he thinks with his hammer and not his head. It’s beyond he’s comprehension that they’re outnumbered. Maybe he could fight them all, but not the rest of them. They don’t have that monstrous brute of his. Sif and the Warriors Three can’t last that long. Loki himself couldn’t either._

_This wasn’t his plan to begin with. It was to ruin his brother’s coronation and show he’s not mature enough, not ready for the crown yet. Loki wasn’t planning to join that oaf on his journey to Jötunheim._

_“Run back home, little princess.”_

_Damn._

_Loki easily noticed Fandral’s pained expression at the comment. They all knew Thor wouldn’t stand for it. When he swung Mjölnir at the Jötunn, they were ready for the fight._

_It was quick, the attack. There was a constant flow of frost giants that were running to kill them. The situation only worsens when Thor actually asks for more of a challenge. It’s like the childish brute would risk their lives just for some entertainment._

_Loki loved his brother, but this was absurd._

 

* * *

 

_There were so many voices around her. All thinking. They’re too loud._

_It’s so distracting that she doesn’t notice Levana drop her ball._

_She doesn’t notice until it’s too late that she ran from the sidewalk and into the street, running after the ball._

_The blaring of car horns is what brings her back to reality. A sickening crack is what she hears that brings her attention to the street. It’s like she’s forgotten to breathe. Her sister’s damaged body lying on the street, the car that hit her stopped and the others screeching to a halt._

_“ **Levana!** ”_

 

* * *

 

_Volstagg yelled to everyone, warning them not to let the jǫtnar touch them. Their frozen touch burns Æsir skin. So they become more guarded as they fight, just another reason not to let their enemy touch them._

_It’s only then though that Loki lunges and stabs a frost giant in the stomach with one of his daggers. The jötunn fell to his knees, but not before he grabs onto the sorcerer’s arm. Armour shatters under his cold hold, breaking apart and falling. Loki struggled, but froze when he felt no burn. Uncertain and cautiously curious, he looked to his arm._

_Skin to skin, cerulean blue melted onto his. His arm the same colour as the frost giant’s._

_His green eyes widen at the sight. He’s not sure what to make of this._

_Looking up, he locks eyes with the enemy. Red eyes staring at him, wondering just as much as Loki did on what he was. He’s quick to react though, using his other hand to stab the jötunn in the chest, killing him._

_In the midst of battle, he brought his arm up, gaping at the blue skin as it receded._

**What** am I?

 

* * *

 

You are the reason your sister is dead.

**You are such a waste of space.**

It’s because of you that she’s not around anymore!

**Sister killer!**

I don’t understand why we keep you.

**Freak! Why do I have a _creature_ like _you_ as a daughter?! **

_Her parents’ thoughts constantly bombard her when she and they are home at the same time. Her skin crawls at the thoughts, her heart stabbing at every word. It’s been four years already since the accident. She’s scarred mentally and now physically after everything._

_Her parents have been beating her. They blame her for everything._

_Ivona just wished she could do things right. She wants to make them happy, make them proud._

She just wants them to love her _, she thinks as she runs the blade over her arm. Slice and bleed. She’s so scarred by now. The marks of her failures there to permanently remind her._

* * *

 

_He needs to know._

_He needs to know why instead of being burned, he shared the same skin as the frost giant._

_In the vault, below Asgard, there is one way of confirming his suspicions._

_The Casket of Ancient Winters, a powerful artefact. It contains the Fimbulwinter of Ymir. It can only be opened and handled by a_ Jötunn _. Any other who attempts would be burnt by the cold aura._

_So when he stands before it, it’s no wonder he hesitates in holding it. If his suspicions are false, he’ll burn himself. If they are true- He casts the thoughts away and grips the handles._

**_It does not burn._ **

No, no, no, no!

_Starting from his fingers, his hands turn slowly turn blue again. It’s a reality he’s not sure how to deal with. Everything he knew, it’s breaking all around him._

_Odin stops him, yelling at the top of the vault’s stairs._

_“Am I cursed?” He asks, in hopes that his father will say yes. It’s a better option than what he sees now, blue skin. He almost wonders if his green eyes have turned bloody red. But he already knows the answer._

_It’s only worse when the All-father denies his question._

_Loki placed the Casket back in its place and turned around, questioning his father again. The younger prince is quick and intelligent, so it’s no surprise when he starts to piece things together. With his expressions steeled, he walked up to the man that had possibly been lying to him all his life._

_It’s devastating to hear Odin’s words._ Son of Laufey, abandoned, suffering, left to die. _For a moment it’s hard for Loki to wrap his head around this information. He’s not a Odinson. He was never an Odinson._

_He was really_ Laufeyson.

_It’s painful. It’s stab to the heart and a blow to the mind. He can’t take any more of this wretched truth, but continues for more. He must know._

_“No. You took me for a purpose. What was it?” Not getting answer, his calm façade breaks. “_ **TELL ME!** _” He’s desperate for answers. This never should have been kept from him._

_This truth is more devastating than the last. He was to be_ used. _Just another relic locked up until he would be of use._

_False father, false son. No true family._

_Frost giant._ Monster.

_Lies, lies, lies, lies,_ LIES.

_“You know, it all makes sense now! Why you favoured Thor all these years! Because no matter how much you claim to_ love _me_ , _you could never have a frost giant sitting on the throne of Asgard.”_

_How befitting, for the God of Mischief and Lies to have grown up as a lie._

* * *

 

_It’s been a year since she had been kicked out. Eighteen now and living on the streets in one of the worst places of the city. It’s not too hard to live here; she lies to herself every day. She works at one of the strip clubs. A filthy place with filthy people doing filthy things. There’s several criminals that come by. Shady business being done behind closed doors._

_Most of the girls she works with aren’t only strippers, but prostitutes. Ivona’s one of the few that are able to fight that kind of work. She just gets more money in different ways, working more hours on stage or at the bar._

_It’s a life she hates, but doesn’t have much better. In her free time she trains her mutation. She’s glad she’s gotten a better hold of her telepathy. She’s not sure if she could work if she had to hear those disgusting thoughts of the men that watched._

_One day it all changes though when someone unfamiliar came in. Ivona’s always been the more observant type, especially in this work. She was always looking out for the worst, making sure to avoid them._

_But this man was different. He was maybe a little over thirty and certainly more handsome than any others that came in. Tapping into his thoughts, she was a bit surprised to hear he was an agent, to an organization she’s never heard of. But she knows he’s after a regular customer that’s a_ criminal.

_Thinking quickly, she realizes it could be a way out for her. She knows a lot about the man that’s wanted. She knows a lot about everyone here. She could easily use that information to her advantage._

_“ **Don’t be afraid, but I know who you’re looking for.** ” She shares her thoughts to him. _

_Silently she applauds of he doesn’t seem at all fazed by her speaking to him. “ **Telepath?** ” _

_“ **Yes. I’m the girl behind the bar in green. I can give you anything you need on Meyers.”**_

_The agent glanced at the girls dancing before moving to the bar. Sitting down and ordering a drink, he seemed to glance at his phone, typing something in. “ **Name?** ”_

_“ **Ivona Page.** ” It took some time, but she was able to gain his trust by the time he left with all the information she provided.  _

_Two days later there was a raid on the place when the wanted criminal was in the building. She had told the agent when he would be there, and it seemed like he had trusted what she had said. During the raid, she had hid behind the bar, careful of the gunfire and fighting that happened around her._

_When it had ended, with several people actually caught, she was found by the agent she had shared information with._

_“Want a different job? It’s more dangerous, but also more dignifying.”_

_She smiled. It was a way out. “I’ll take it. Also, you never did tell me your name.”_

_He half-smiled. “Clint Barton.”_

 

* * *

 

_Hanging off the Bifröst isn’t an ideal thing. Especially when a rip in the universe was right below, swallowing everything._

_His plans failed. He was such a failure. Never capable of doing anything. All he wanted to do was make his father proud! He just wanted to show Odin that he could do it! He was going to destroy his father’s enemies for him!_

_Hanging onto Gungnir, all he felt was despair and failure._

_Looking up, he looked at Thor who held onto the other end of Gungnir. If Thor knew what Loki was, he would have thrown him into the abyss below already. He’s sure of it. Above them, Odin held onto Thor’s ankle._

_“I could have done it, Father! I could have done it! For you! For all of us!” He’s still so young, forever seeking acceptance, approval. He feels like his heart is tearing._

_“No, Loki.” The sharpness of the hurt and rejection cut through that damaged heart, all from two words. The feeling of being unwanted ate at him. Desolation soon followed. A tear escaped his eye and he let go, falling into the darkness of space. He did not know if he would survive and he did not care._

_No one will mourn. No one would care._

_For who would care for this abandoned, never loved, misshapen frost giant._


	7. Leverage

The memories that she sees hurt. She can partially _taste_ his betrayal and pain. It hits home, and her heart is tearing along with his as she watches it all. It makes her skin crawl because now it’s impossible for her to see him as a simple criminal like she did before. He reminds her a lot of herself and that’s not supposed to happen. He’s now seen as a man destroyed by lies and withheld truth.

Her perception of him is skewed. She still hates him for what he’s done but she can’t help but sympathize. She can’t help but hate and care for this man at the same time.

It’s not a good thing.

 

* * *

 

Loki was mildly surprised by what he saw. They have more similarities then he thought, and he’s not sure what to think of that. Above all, he’s incredibly fascinated in her, more than he could believe. She’s gone through a childhood of hurt, unloved and forgotten. And despite it all, she’s still strong.  It only makes him want to break that will of hers, to bend it to his own. He’d break her and rebuild her.

He watches as she stumbles back, overwhelmed. He’s not particularly pleased that she had retaliated and looked into his mind as well.  She’s stronger than he expected; to actually reach into _his_ mind. And her mind was a bit of a challenge for him as well.  It’s not what he expected, to have someone that could actually challenge him.

She looks shaken, if not pained as she digs the heel of her palm into her temple. He wonders if she truly fears him now. Loki’s sure she’s seen what he really is. But for now, he tells himself he doesn’t care what she’s seen.

He now has the simplest of leverage over her.

“I see you have a long relationship with Agent Barton. Would you care to explain?” He feels a certain level of jealousy over the idea of her being in any way close to the controlled archer. She’s far too interesting for the agent.

When she finally looks up at him, it’s a cross between hesitation and confusion that passes over her face. “He saved me from a shitty life seven years ago. So yeah, you could say we have a relationship. Nothing romantic.” There’s a touch of humour in her voice as she says the latter. “I don’t see how that’s much of a concern to you anyways. He’s under _your_ control.”

“No, not a concern.” _Yes, a concern._ “But I could use it against you, darling.”

She cursed underneath her breath. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“He is quite the skilled warrior, but sacrifices are always made.” It’s obvious how she tries to hold back her horror at his words. Her brown eyes flicker around at nothing as she tries to figure out what to do. “It would be a shame to lose him, but your abilities are a great deal better.”

Without even a scrap of a pause, Ivona asks, “What do you want?” She’s willing to compromise. The brunette doesn’t want Loki to harm Clint because of her.

“Anything, and _everything_. You fascinate me, mortal, more than I believed you would.”

“Did you know that fascination can easily lead to obsession? And obsession does not hesitate to _consume_ and _destroy,”_ she easily retorts. She’s seen the downfall of many men and women who became obsessed. They always bring it upon themselves.

Loki smiled at her, teeth bared. “ _Oh, I know_.” Yes, consume and destroy _her._ “Now acquiesce to me. I am your king, your _master._ You are _mine_.”

She bites her tongue and instead gives a tight, sarcastic smile. _Her master?_ Oh how her skin just _crawls_ at the sound of that. All thoughts of sympathy from before are completely thrown out the window. “Do I have your word that you won’t harm Clint?”

“Yes, you have my word. And how _righteous_ of you, to bend for the sake of that mortal male.” He’s actually a bit disappointed, expecting more of a struggle. But it’s all right, there’s still some fight left in her. And he _will_ destroy it.

Ivona smirked. “‘ _Sacrifices are always made,_ ’” she mocked him.

“Watch your tongue. It’d be quite _unfortunate_ if I would have to cut it out,” he snapped at her. “Are you prepared to make sacrifices? You best be ready to keep to your words.”

She stared impassively at him as he leered.

_Damn him._ She’ll make sure to survive all this so when his plans fail, she’ll be there to laugh in his face.


	8. Roaming and Befriending?

_You are allowed outside of your room. But if you do any wrong, I shall know._

_Don’t bother to escape. I will find you and you will regret it._

_Do not try to affect any of my men, or you will be punished._

To say Ivona wasn’t bitter or anger would be a big fat lie. Her hatred is right now directed at the slim iron bracelet that hangs from her right wrist. She’s surprised he’s not twisted enough to make it a collar instead, to ‘claim’ her. Right before letting her go from that barren room, he had grabbed her wrist and it had appeared from thin air, marking her. She was perplexed, but couldn’t question these weird powers before he had left.

Now she walked around the labyrinth of a bunker they were in. The bricked halls were empty, damp and semi-dark, dim lights on the ceiling every few dozen feet. The brunette raised her arm and examined the cold metal cuff. She could distinguish the writing on it to be runes. What it meant was completely beyond her though. What was unfortunate was that it was too tight for her to slip her hand through. It seemed impossible to take off without sharp, dangerous tools.

Sighing, she ignored it for now. Instead, she thought more about her situation as she walked. Another surge of anger coursed through her.

_She’s been compromised._

Ivona paused and slammed her hand against the wall. Her bare palm scraped against the rough surface of the wall. It stung, but she ignored it. Seven good years under SHIELD and that streak was ruined. There’s anger at herself and her captor. When Loki took control over her, she should have fought it more. And then that bastard was actually using Clint’s life against her!

She sighs again, suddenly tired. _What’s she to do?_

* * *

 

For some reason she thought they would be like some mindless zombies with Loki controlling them, she’s not sure why. Instead she found the men in the underground bunker to be surprisingly… ‘lively’, for a lack of a better term. They talked about plans, some shouting orders, others doing their jobs. Some weren’t even controlled, lacking glowing blue eyes! That was a real shock for her. But then again, she reasoned, they were most likely enemies of SHIELD.

In the middle of the large room was the Tesseract and working with it was Doctor Selvig. It seemed like no one cared about her being there because no one stopped her when she walked to the good scientist.

Ivona stopped outside of the clear plastic that covered the doorway. “Hello, Dr Selvig,” she said, standing with her arms crossed.

He paused in his work and smiled over to her. It wasn’t an unfamiliar sight. When she was stationed to watch Project: P.E.G.A.S.U.S. she often took interest in the science around her. She wasn’t a natural genius, but she was able to absorb it and understand it. It was fun talking to Selvig and the others over the project.

“Agent Page, it’s good to see you.”

Looking at his glowing blue eyes, she feels unreasonable guilt and swallows it back down. “Same to you. I hope I’m not interrupting too much.”

“No, no,” he assured her before waving her in. “Come, I’m sure this interests you.”

She smiles a bit and pushes the plastic away, walking in. The Tesseract is glowing like always, behaving surprisingly. “It certainly peaks my interests, Doctor.”

As he works, he’s also talking about it to her. He was just so thrilled to work with the cube and to learn about it, that Ivona found herself smiling at the man’s happiness. But when he referred to Loki as his boss, she was brought back to reality – he was still being controlled.

She enjoyed talking to him though. It’s some sort of familiarity that she’s missed. And after some time, she figures she’s interrupted him enough for today. Bidding him goodbye and good luck, she leaves the small area around the Tesseract and plans to wander some more. She doesn’t like the idea of staying in that room. There’s nothing to do and she hates inactivity.

But before she goes back into the hallways, she bumps into someone. Her face slammed into something hard and she cursed.

“You should probably watch where you’re going if you don’t want to run into anything.”

She stepped back and was met with a man she was unacquainted with, his eyes normal. Rubbing her sore nose, she retorted, “Maybe your body shouldn’t be so damn hard.” She figured this man wouldn’t do anything. If people against SHIELD would be out to get her here, they would have attacked by now.

He smirked, looking over her. “With you, babe, that might be a bit difficult.”

She stared at him for a second before barking out a laugh, smiling. “That was _so_ lame.”

He shrugged, unaffected by her jab. “I haven’t seen you around here. And judging by the logo on your shoulder, you’re from-”

“SHIELD.”

“Defected?” He watched her with suspicion.  

“No, I’m stupid and tried to infiltrate in my _uniform_ ,” she countered with sarcasm.

“Name?” He asked and she answered reluctantly. “ _Oh_ , the boss’s woman.”

She narrowed her eyes. “ _Fuck no_. Whatever Loki’s telling his lackeys that made you believe that, it’s wrong,” she snapped.

He chuckled. “All the better. And aren’t you feisty?”

She snorted, crossing her arms and favouring one leg. “What’s your name?”

“Why? Gonna tell the boss?” He raised a brow, a friendly challenging look crossing his face.

She waved her hand, dismissing the question. “I just wanna know the name of the man that’s failing at flirting with me.”

“Ethan,” he answered.

“Well, _Ethan_ , mind showing me where my room is if you know? This place is like a maze.”

He gave a boyish grin and slung an arm around her shoulder. “Don’t mind at all.” 


	9. Touching

The Helicarrier flew over the Atlantic, SHIELD agents in constant search of the stolen cosmic cube and the hostile. Even a search for their controlled agents was in order. If they found any of them, they might be able to find Loki, and in turn the cube.

“And?” Fury asked Coulson. He stood in the middle of the bridge, in front of his four screens, one of which that showed his closest agent.

“ _I’ve talked to Stark. And Agent Romanoff is going to get Doctor Banner_.”

“Good. You should be getting Captain Rogers in a few hours.”

“ _Of course, sir._ ” There was subtle tone of excitement in the man’s voice, it being the only betrayal of his emotions. But everyone that knew Coulson knew how big of a fan he was of Captain America. Some of the agents had actually taken bets on whether the usually calm, stoic man would have swooned when they found Rogers in the ice. _“Any signs of Loki?_ ”

“No. Hopefully when Banner arrives, he can find the Tesseract.” _Nearly a year of working with the cube and this motherfucking shit happens._ They already have enough problems with dangerous morons on this planet. Earth didn’t need another visit from another Asgardian. Last time an entire town was almost _destroyed_.

“ _So we’ve lost complete contact with Agent Barton and Page. Even though it’s unlikely, at least we moved her parents just like Doctor Foster._ ”

After moment Fury told him, “Just make sure everyone gets to base.”

“ _Yes, sir.”_

* * *

 

She hates people touching her. Sometimes she even _fears_ being touched when it came to the wrong person. It stems from her childhood when instead of getting the simplest of touches like a hug, she would get beaten by her parents. The slight phobia only worsened when she worked at the strip club. Some of the men were often too touchy, grabbing at the dancers. Some who had drank _far_ too much would only try for more.

It made her skin crawl when this basically unknown man wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Granted, she had been friendly with him, snarky and sarcastic. But she had never given him permission to touch her. In her mind, she’s shaking, fearing if he wanted something _more_ than just a simple conversation.

However she won’t snap at him to let her go. It’s suspicious and she doesn’t like showing a weakness like that, that she’s uncomfortable with his touch. He’s a criminal, one that willingly chose to join Loki’s ‘army’. This _Ethan_ could easily be the type that takes joy in a woman’s reluctance, one that’s completely beyond morals.

And is it pathetic that she’s actually a bit too afraid to read his mind? She doesn’t want to know if he has other intentions when they reach her room. And she can’t just randomly lash out at him. She’ll only have Loki to deal with afterwards. She’s not sure which is better.

**_Help me, help me, help me._ **

As they walk, she continues with her usual sarcastic and friendly attitude. It’s only small talk and for some reason it bothers her all the more. **_He’s touching me. It’s been too long. Let go. Let go!_** Her mind is racing as she tries to hide her anxiety. He doesn’t seem to notice it, but she feels like her tell is obvious.

“You’re a _telepath_?”

Ivona blinks, surprised. She doesn’t remember saying anything about it. But how can she when her mind is only fixated on his arm around her. “Yeah,” she answers confidently.

Ethan smirks, leaning in. “What am I thinking about then?”

Inwardly she shudders at the leering look. She ran her tongue across the back of her teeth before speaking. “With a look like that, I don’t think I need to read your mind to know what you’re thinking.” _She doesn’t_ want _to read his mind with a look like that._

He opened his mouth to say something but closed it and looked up. He stopped and withdrew his arm back to his side. She couldn’t help it, but close her eyes and breathe a sigh of relief. “Hey, boss. Just showing her to her room,” he said, straightening his posture.

At his words, the brunette opened her eyes and noticed Loki walk towards them, stopping in front of her nearby door. Oddly enough she had recognized it. And oddly enough, she was relieved to see _him_ , of all people.

The raven-haired man regarded his lackey with a heated stare before turning to Ivona. “Come,” he told her entering her room.

Any other time she would have _fumed_ at his controlling attitude. She wasn’t a _dog_ you could just order around! But she couldn’t be happier than to leave Ethan. Out of courtesy, she turned to Ethan, thanking him.

He smiled. “Come find me anytime, babe,” he said with a wave.

She gave a tense smile back and followed Loki into the room. Everything was the same as it was earlier that day; all except the small dish of food on the otherwise empty table. Probably already cold. _Oh well._ After all the anxiety, she wasn’t sure if she could hold anything in anyways.

“You seem to be getting quite _friendly_ with the others,” he said, turning to face her.

Brown eyes locked with green for a moment, narrowing, before she looked away. She crossed her arms, like she was almost trying to hide herself from his gaze. It’s piercing and hypnotizing. She’s not sure which is more unsettling actually; to be touched or to just be stared at by Loki.

“I don’t see how it’s any of _your_ concern. I’m following the rules you gave me. I am not trying to control him or escape. I’m not doing any wrong by _talking_ to people.” Granted, she didn’t like how the guy touched her, but was she not allowed to _talk_ to others now?

She swore he smirked before he sneered. She was a bit wary. It was like he knew something she didn’t. “ _Only_ talking? Know one another for only a moment and suddenly so _close._ ”

It’s like the only thing this man can do is make her angry. She doesn’t like what it seems like he’s insinuating. Biting her tongue, she walks towards the table to the food. It’s been awhile since she’s eaten. (She’s lasted longer than this though.)

Before she could pass him though, he grabbed her arm, stopping her. Her body seized in panic when he then grasped her by the jaw. “You aren’t allowed to talk to any of my men. Understand?”

She would have argued had it not been the threatening, almost bruising force that currently clutched her jaw. Her spine tingled with fear and her mind mildly flares with annoyance. _Why is she being touched so much?!_

She jerked a nod and relaxed when he let go. He seemed satisfied for now, so she continued on her way to the table. Today was too much. _Eat and sleep. That was her plan._

* * *

 

Loki watched silently as she sat at the table before leaving. Was she not aware that she had practically been yelling for help? She had been screaming her thoughts for some sort of reprieve from that man’s touch. _Had she done it without her own knowledge?_ He grinned inwardly.

Even so, she had asked for help from _him_. She had been pleading to Loki for help without her own awareness!

Oh, this darling woman was more interesting than he expected. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haphephobia is the fear of touching or of being touched.  
> Ivona only really fears being touched, and it’s dependent on situation and person. More about it later~


	10. Obsession

_You aren't allowed to talk to any of my men. Understand?_

She hates how he’s ordered her not to talk to the men. It infuriates her because Loki has no right to just ban her from human contact like that. Is she to search for socializing from _him_? A hilarious idea in her mind because he doesn’t seem like the socializing type. He can be menacing and just downright irritating with his controlling personality. The idea of starting up a conversation with him seems rather unpleasant.

Her mind flashes to the distraught young man hanging off a (brilliantly colourful and flashing and _broken_ ) bridge. She shakes it off and walks around the bunker again. She can’t just pity him because of the past. Wasn’t it _his_ choice to become what he is now?

After waking up, she had showered again and eaten (they had feed her once more thankfully). She then spent the past two hours wondering around the bunker, putting to memory the hallways. She had been thinking over her situation and remembering old things. This was only the third day and so much had happened, she was truly surprised.

“Hey, babe, out on a walk again? Or can’t find your room?” a familiar voice called out, teasing her.

She turned and tightly smiled to Ethan. Would Loki know if she talked to him? She scoffed. _How could he?_ “Hello to you too. And no, I’m not lost. I know my way around already,” she replied, a smirk playing on her lips. As long as he doesn’t touch her, it’s good. She could do this.

As they started to talk, her wrist slowly began to burn. She ignored it at first, it only being a mild irritation. But ten minutes into their friendly conversation, the mild irritation turned into a burning pain. Her hand twitched and when she looked down, she noticed it was the wrist with the iron bracelet. The skin underneath was a brilliant red and swollen. When the iron moved over the skin it only burned more, actually making her flinch and bite her lip.

Noticing this, Ethan looked at her in slight confusion. “You okay?”

Looking up from her wrist to him, she asked, “Where’s Loki?”

“Probably watching Selvig’s progress. Why?”

She didn’t answer him, breaking into a sprint towards the room with the Tesseract. As she ran, Ivona cradled her burning wrist to her chest. Was this his doing? Was this all because of her talking with Ethan?

Rounding a corner, right before the entrance to the room she was going towards, she stops a halt and almost falls onto her back when she’s suddenly met with Loki. He looks mad but small amusement plays in his eyes.

“Is it so hard to listen to what I told you?” he asked, almost sounding exasperated with her.

She stands her ground, the burn from the iron bracelet receding, but the pain still there. “Why is it burning me?”

“It’s a warning, for disobeying what I had told you. And why do you speak with him anyways? Yesterday, you basically _screamed_ to me that you wanted that man away from you. Was it a lie?”

She hears what he says and blinks. “I- I _what?_ ” She had projected her thoughts to Loki? But why _him?_

“Are you not aware of far your powers go? Or do you have such little control?”

She shook off his insult. “The reason why I wanted him _away_ from me is that I don’t like people touching me.” She swallows, not liking that she had told him. But what else is she supposed to tell him?

He looks at her, doubting what she says. “Judging by your _previous_ occupation, I’m surprised to hear such a thing.”

Her anger flares again at his condescending attitude. “I’m not a damn _whore_. Believe it or not,” she begins to say bitterly, hesitating, “I’m still a virgin. It’s pathetic. I know. I’m twenty-five and have never been with anyone because of my little tick. But hey, you don’t have to worry about me distracting your men by sleeping with them at least.” Her tone is biting and self-loathing.

He regards her with a sort of twisted interest and chuckles. “I certainly wouldn’t allow such a thing anyways.”

“Then _why?_ Why would it be so bad for me to just _talk_ to the guys? Are you going to oppress me so far as to ban simple _socializing?_ ” 

“With your powers, you are above them. Why waste your time on such simplistic creatures?” he asked her like it was common sense.

She was actually stunned to silence. No one has ever _told_ her that she was equal to everyone, let alone _above_ them!

He warned her again. “Do _not_ interact with any of them. If you fear another’s touch, I’m sure you wouldn’t have to worry about that so long as you do not _interact_ with them.” And anyways, only _he_ would be the one to actually touch her. He wanted to expose that fear and have her be used to his touch _only_. It was a challenge to undertake while he waited on the progress of the Tesseract and he’ll surely enjoy it.

“So what am I supposed to do now if I can’t talk to anyone?”

“If you are so bored, I’m sure you can find other things to occupy yourself with.”

She gritted her teeth and walked away, resisting the urge to stomp. As she left, the iron bracelet began to cool the skin of her burned wrist, slowly healing it.

 

* * *

 

_Humans were lower, they desired subjugation and that was what they were given. The war won and Loki ruled all. Was life not easier like this, like it should always be like this? And Ivona was faithfully at their king’s side, almost a queen of sorts to the man that reigned. The previously dull iron bracelet on her wrist was now smooth golden band which different runic inscriptions._

_At one distorted part, she sees Loki and hears him say, “Do not dwell on what they say about you. It is all lies. You are above them, always have been.” He reached out to her and she didn’t flinch when he touched her, the soft caress on her cheek._

She woke up with a start, heart beating.

The dream made her skin crawl because of how absurdly realistic it felt. It only brought about awful thoughts that would often plague her mind in years back. Life with her parents thought her that she was a freak as a mutant. Her short time at the club made herself feel almost more superior to the pathetic lives that surrounded her. And working with SHIELD only made her bitterer towards humanity despite helping it.

Her parents continuously degraded her for being _different_. It didn’t help that she couldn’t control her powers and heard their thoughts all the time.

The strip club was better in the way that no one knew what she was. Her guilty pleasure was to read certain minds. (It was just _practicing_! Was that such a bad thing?) She would gain some money too when she played poker in the back during her free time. She thought herself better and used her powers to her advantage. Everyone was disgusting and a waste of space. She was only there because she had no other place to live, having not even finished high school before getting kicked out. (At the time, she refused to see anyone else’s circumstances. In hindsight, some were just as bad, if not worse compared to hers.)

For some odd reason she thought that SHIELD would be more _accepting_. However she was completely wrong. It had taken some time that she had gained trust in the agents; the only real opinion that mattered was Director Fury’s. But many of the other agents still didn’t trust her because of what she was able to do. They were wary of her because she could easily access information. If she wanted information, would she have went through six month of training to become an agent? She thought they would be logical about it, but most were just judgemental. It was infuriating at times, but she was glad to know several people that wholly trusted her.

Remembering it all, she hates how _comforting_ this dream felt to her. 


	11. Conversations and Old Hobbies

_Day four_ , Ivona thought. After showering she had just flopped back into bed with her dark brown hair still wet. The pillow underneath her head slowly became soaked but she couldn’t care less. Fingers absentmindedly played with the crude metal bracelet on her wrist as her brown eyes stared at the ceiling. The skin underneath it was normal, having healed after her confrontment with Loki.

She’s bored. Her mind is just so _bored_. She doesn’t know what to do with herself now that she isn’t allowed to talk to the others. She knows what the _warning_ of talking to his lackeys is now. She doesn’t want to know what true punishment would be. The brunette shuddered at the thought. It only makes it worse now that he knows what she fears.

She continued to play with the bracelet, running her fingers over the runic inscriptions. Her mind bounced from wondering what they meant and back to what to do. A stupid, crazy thought passed her mind.

She sighed.

“Am I really that desperate?” she asked herself. After a beat, she continued, “Yeah, and insane. _Why must humans be such social creatures?_ ” she whined before getting up.

 

* * *

 

Loki had a feeling Ivona wouldn’t have stayed in her room even after yesterday. That woman had such a will for a human that it almost baffled him. Frightened and in pain, she would _still_ fight. She was fascinating and irritating. Her fear of being touched seemed to pull him towards her all the more. Her smooth voice rang through his head, ‘ _fascination can easily lead to obsession.’_ And how _right_ she was.

He watched as she entered the room he was in, the same that contained the Tesseract. He was previously watching it and its progress. He kept a straight face as she walked towards him, ignoring the men around her. She finally decided to abide to the rules he had given her.

She seemed a bit calmer now, acting more civil. Inwardly he smirked. It appeared that she was quite the social creature, desperate enough to come to him. He didn’t mind it though, so long as she behaved properly. He just didn’t expect her to do this. She seemed rather dead set on avoiding him.

When she gave a crooked smile, he returned his gaze back to Selvig working on the cosmic cube. She stopped at his side, also watching the scientist. After a moment she finally spoke. “Is this what you do all day?”

The raven-haired man looked down at her. _Interesting_. She really was willing to speak to him. Did she not know what he really was? She _had_ to have seen that he was _jötunn_ when she looked into his mind, hadn’t she? “There are other things.”

She made a noncommittal noise, falling silent for another moment. She waved to Selvig when he noticed her, but otherwise did nothing else. “So, what is Doctor Selvig trying to do with the Tesseract? Or am I not allowed to know?”

“He is finding a way to stabilize the portal.” He already knew that she had seen the scientist’s notes on the cube. And even if she told anyone, they wouldn’t be able to stop it.

She now looked at him surprised. She didn’t believe that he would divulge any information to her. “For what?”

He smirked at her. “My army.”

She gave him a hard look, crossed between doubt and confusion. “ _‘Army’?_ If it’s from the portal, that means they’re from space… _Aliens?”_ Dear god, her words came back to haunt her. When she and Clint had talked about this, she had called it completely shit.

“Chitauri,” he corrected her.

She shrugged. The name made no difference to her. “Whatever. If it works, it’ll certainly be interesting.” There’s a touch of truth in her voice.

“It’ll end in this world finally being ruled.”

Her mind flashed to last night’s dream. She shook it off. “Why do you want to control Earth?”

“You murder each other with your so called _freedom_. I mean to rule Midgard to bring you peace. You will be free of freedom. Life will be simpler,” he spoke confidently.

And she could almost see his point. If only it didn’t go against human will, it could work. “No human would be happy with that,” she tried to argue back calmly.

“Are you sure? What is true reality but as how the mind perceives it? It is the same with happiness. Look at the good doctor. Even if being controlled, he is still happy. If the mind thinks it is happy, then why believe otherwise?” He watched the confliction in her eyes. It pleased him to see that he would be able to get her to accept his view if she was already considering it.

(Little did he know of the dream she had the night before. It was what really made her mind consider what he said.)  

With a twisted smirk, he placed a hand on her lower back. She jumped at the contact, eyes wide. He loved the reaction, anticipating it. “Come, I will show you what is being planned. I’ll prove to you that it is not bad for these humans to be controlled.”

She glared at him, but didn’t argue. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing to find out the plans. His touch was uncomfortable though. That ass was doing it purposely, knowing she didn’t like it. But it was only until later that she noticed his touch didn’t trigger fear like Ethan’s touch did.

 

* * *

 

After getting bored of following Loki around like a little puppy, she decided to do something else. Looking around and finally asking Selvig, she eventually gained several sheets of paper along with a pencil and pen. She decided to take up her old hobby of drawing. If she actually got into it, she would probably spend a few hours doing it. In the past she could easily waste time drawing. How much could honestly have change since then?

Retreating back into the silent calm of her room, she went to the table. She sat in a half-lotus position and leaned over the table top, trying to find out what she should draw first. 

After about two and a half hours, she had several sheets of sketches spread about the table. One was of the chamber; the point of view came from the rafters where she stayed with Hawkeye and at its centre the cube. Another was of her younger sister when she was five, before her death. Even if her parents loved the child more than her, she harboured no resentment against the sibling but instead loved her wholly. Another was from one of Loki’s memories. The landscape of his home realm (? She wasn’t entirely sure if that was what it was called) from the view of the bridge.

The one she was currently working on honestly surprised her though.

It was Loki, standing tall and proud, sceptre in hand. She didn’t know what spurred her to draw him, but she was now regretting it – only because his outfit was a pain in the ass to draw. With her memory it’s simple to remember, but the designs are just annoying.

Ivona sighed in irritation, putting the pencil down. She stretched her arms above her head, joints popping. Looking at the ceiling, she thought about what she drew.

She thought back to when she went through counselling. The psychologist at SHIELD had once made her do a HTP test to measure her personality. Glancing at the drawings on the table, she wondered what they would mean, if they meant anything. The brunette covered her face in her hands, groaning. She never did like this psychological stuff; sometimes she thought it was just bullshit. But it had helped her.

Glancing at the drawings only once over, she got up from the stable. She’s been cooped up in there for too long. She deemed it time for another walk around the bunker. 


	12. A Touch of Sin

_She_ definitely _never should have left her room._

_But she never knew this would have actually happened. There were no warning signs. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary as she walked around._

_One strong hand gripped her hair with unrelenting harshness while a heavy-bladed and thick combat knife was pressed to her neck, its sharpness threatened to slice her skin. Their hold on her was solid, keeping her from running. Her arms ached from her odd position, hands tied behind her.  There were others around her and her attacker, jeering and encouraging and claiming turns._

_If only her fear wasn’t so constricting, if only she wasn’t already in pain from the bracelet on her wrist, she would have been able to fight back. Her mind is so clouded that she can’t concentrate._

_She’s only aware of what’s to come, what’s been promised to her._

“Come here, you fucking bitch.”

 

* * *

 

He clicked his tongue in annoyance. “You know, I don’t mind having the guy lead us. We’re going to destroy SHIELD, that’s all that matters to me with his so-called ‘plans’.”

“Yeah, but keep that girl to himself? Aw, fuck no,” another that sat close by butted in. He continued to play with his switchblade, otherwise bored.

A third gave a wide, perverse smile. “Young and a hot piece of ass to boot.” They’ve heard about and seen the young SHIELD agent that often spent her time walking around the bunker.

The first shrugged. “I’ve seen better.”

“Oh yeah, because this fucking bunker’s loaded with shit tons of woman,” Ethan said, walking in.

“Shut the hell up. I’m just saying.”

A fifth man joined, apparently knowing the group. “Hey, I’ve heard she hates people touching her.”

The third jumped at the idea. “Oh, oh! _Really?_ Imagine how much that bitch would struggle, pinning her down, and-”

“Whoa, no need to get too excited,” Ethan teased the man. “I get first dibs. Saw the bitch first. And you said she hates other’s _touching_ her? No fucking wonder she seemed weird when I put my arm around her.”

“We just want a share.”

“What about the ‘ _boss_ ’?”

Ethan scoffed. “Like he’ll find out. Let’s break her in. Fucking mutant _and_ SHIELD anyways. She’s gotta learn who’s the _real_ deal.”

“She’s just left her room and, uh, Loki’s apparently busy,” one of the men supplied, anticipation in his voice unhidden.

Ethan scanned the small group of men and leered. “Let’s have some fun, boys.”

 

* * *

 

It was maybe almost half an hour into her walk that she had seen Ethan again. She wasn’t sure what to do honestly. She didn’t want to face the burn of the bracelet and yet, when he was approaching her, it was already tingling.  

“Hey, babe, bored?” She shrugged and continued her walking. He followed her, soon enough walking in step with her. “Not in a talking mood?” he tried to lightly tease her.

She pursed her lips. “I’m not allowed to talk to you.”

He blinked at her and glared when she didn’t even look at him. “What do you mean, ‘ _not allowed’?_ ”

“Exactly as I said.” She sure hoped he would get the hint.

But obviously he didn’t when he pulled her back by her arm and shoved her into the wall. Gripping onto her arms, he sneered at the brunette. “Like hell. I ain’t stopping because you’re not _allowed,_ ” Ethan mocked her.

She kept her face calm despite the fear brewing. _This wasn’t good._

When she didn’t respond, he gave mirthless smile. “Fine, be like that.” He easily knocked her out before she could fight back.

 

* * *

 

When she came about, she realized her arms were tied behind her back and that she wasn’t alone. Behind her, someone held onto her restrained arms with one hand and the other had a thin blade close to her neck. They were in one of the empty rooms that occupied the bunker, and they weren’t alone. In front of her were four men, one of which was the same that had basically attacked her.

**_Dear god, no!_ **

“What do you want?” she finally speaks, the bracelet is almost searing now. Was Loki aware? _Would he even care?_

Ethan stood with the men that surrounded her, half-heartedly shrugging at her question. Some of the others chuckled, apparently finding something in her question funny. “Not much other than you,” he said nonchalantly, as if it was common sense.

She paled at his words and at their leers. “You honestly can’t think you can get away with this,” her voice wavered in terror.

**_Help!_ **

The one behind her chuckled. “And who’s going to stop us? No one will know.” His knife pressed harder against her skin. “If you scream or try something funny, _say goodbye to that pretty neck of yours._ ”

Ivona quickly looked over all the men. In total there were five and just beyond them was the door. “Not happening,” she said and threw her head back. It collided with the man behind her and dazed him, making him loosen his hold. She quickly sprang to her feet and tried to bolt. It wasn’t the best of her ideas, but it’s the least she could do. Creating telepathic illusions took more concentration than she had at the moment and she’s never tried to control another mind. She’s not sure how to.

But the men were quick to react. Two instantly blocked the exit and Ethan hit her with enough force to throw her onto the ground. She was dazed when he went over her and pinned her down. She bucked, trying to dislodge him off of her. But she wasn’t strong enough and he easily withdrew a more heavy-blade knife than the one that was previously used against her.

He pressed the blade into her cheek and hastily used his free hand to grab her hair. “Come here, you fucking bitch.” Leaning over her, he continued. “As much as I like your feisty attitude, I’m not in the _fucking mood_. Shut it and take it, cunt.”

Even with the increasing fear, some anger and fight still brewed within her. In retaliation, she spit in his face. She gasped and cringed when he sliced her cheek. But it only stung in comparison to the iron bracelet. Was it seriously burning because she was _next_ to the men?

**_Please help me_ **

The knife moved to her neck next, pressing into the flesh. The hand in her hair let go and moved to the zipper of her uniform. He was quick to unzip and his hands switched again, hand at her throat and knife ripping through the fabric of the white wife-beater underneath and even cutting her bra at the middle.

She was shaking with fear now, tearing welling and running down her cheeks, mixing with the bleeding gash. “Stop!” She tried to struggle against him as he touched her semi-bare torso. But it was useless with her arms tied behind her back and he was too heavy to kick off.

_Boom, thud, thud._

Behind them the door opened and two of the men were instantly and fatally shot. “Stand down!” Relief flooded through her when she heard the voice. _Clint._

“Kill them all except for _him._ ” _Loki._

She opened her mouth to say something but above her Ethan clicked his tongue in frustration. In a last ditch attempt to harm her, he sloppily ran the blade over her throat, more to the side, and she was immersed in pain, _searing pain._ Her lungs suddenly burned, breathing becoming difficult. She could feel the blood run down, pooling beneath her.

Suddenly the weight on top of her was gone; Ethan’s body was dragged off of her.

She looked to the side and noticed Loki next to her. He was kneeling, cold green eyes assessing the damage. With a subtle twitch of his hand, she found the ties around her arms gone. Freed, she then moved her hands to her neck, applying pressure. It wasn’t as deep as it could be, she would survive.

She didn’t fight him when his hand moved hers and pressed into the wound. She took notice that his touch is oddly comforting and would have sighed if it wasn’t hard to breathe through the crippling pain.

He shook his head. “Do you now believe me about the monsters humans can become when given freedom?”

She must have been hallucinating when she heard that tinge of sadness and anger in his voice. He looked disappointed in her. But she didn’t care. She just wanted to get out of there. She reached towards him with her bloodily hands. **_Please, I don’t want to be here._**

He gave a small smirk at her projected thought. “You needn’t worry.”

 

* * *

 

He used a small spell to stop the bleeding and to put her to sleep. With ease and for now ignoring her open top, he picked her up. She was struggling against the spell and losing consciousness slowly as she settled in his arms, surprisingly putting her own arms around his shoulders. A sudden thrill went through him when she rested her head into the crook of his neck and projected one last, weak thought before passing out.

**_Thank you._ **

He doesn’t remember the last time he had heard anyone sincerely thank him for anything. Not only that, but she was allowing his touch. He wouldn’t have cared if she would have fought him, he expected her to react negatively. Instead she had gladly welcomed him.

Without thought he stepped over the dead bodies of the other men as he left the room. He left the last man for agent Barton to take care of at the moment. Oh, he wouldn’t be killed just yet. Loki would find a suitable ending for the man, a torture where he would _beg_ for his own death. He didn’t care so much that the woman almost could have died. What infuriated him was that the soldier tried to claim something only he would. Essentially he tried to steal from Loki. The man had wilfully joined Loki and then tried to take what was _his._

He would use him as a warning to the others.

 _Like he would allow these foolish humans to take such an extraordinary being from him_ , he thought as he entered her room. He wanted to break her and show her it was he who was in charge. He wanted to own that strong will and pretty body. It was an obsession he was aware of and couldn’t care less. More of those small pieces of information he got out of her, about her, all that she had basically given _willingly_ , only intrigued him more. And she was different compared to the other humans; even _they_ considered her different, calling her a _mutant_. She was even out casted by her own parents.

Apparently humans were like the Asgardians in that area. Jötunns were monsters to Asgardians and mutants were looked at as weird, as _monsters_ by the humans.

When she was put in the bed, he waved his hand over her, her clothes re-stitching together. She was quite the sight for sore eyes, but the idea of any other seeing boiled his blood.

As he fixed her clothes and healed her wounds, his eyes wandered to the table. On it was several sheets of paper. Done with her, he moved to the table to examine the papers. He didn’t really expect much, maybe a poorly thought out escape plan, but definitely not this.

_So this is what she was occupying herself with._

He first looked at the drawings that were visible, shifting through them and picking them up. It was a sure surprise to find out that she drew and quite well actually. It was interesting to see the things she put the most detail in. One of the sketches was of her sister that had died in one of her memories. Another of the SHIELD room he had arrived at through the portal. Another made him freeze; Asgard. It made his skin itch because of the accuracy. So she _had_ gotten a few of his memories then.

Pushing the drawing of Asgard away, he looked for any others. There was one last paper that was blank, but he flipped it over. This one had truly turned his silver tongue to lead for the briefest moment.

She had drawn him, face detailed and accurate, but the outfit was unfinished. He suspected there was some difficulty in drawing it from memory or that it was simply too challenging. He faintly smiled and quickly folded up the drawing. He stuffed it into his jacket for the time being and looked over to his little artist.

“My, my, now why did you draw _me?_ ” 


	13. Golden

_He continued his campaign and many of the humans had already submitted. Those that succumbed to their king’s rule were freed of their freedoms and life was made easier for them. But there were some humans that still tried to fight. They were easy to deal with though and made examples of. Their failures only made more yield to rule._

_Soon Midgard would completely fall at the hands of Loki Liesmith. With the power of the Tesseract, he would rule this realm and prove himself. He was born to be a king and this would be his kingdom._

_\---_

_“Kneel.”_

_The simple command had all that were before him kneeling. They were so wilful, doing as he said because it was simpler to just follow. To his side kneeled Ivona, fist over her heart like the rest. But she was of different status unlike these humans. She was always by their king’s side, his closest acquaintance._

_As silence settled around them, she murmured, “My king,” before kissing the hem of his dark green cape. Afterwards she stood up and faced the crowd of followers. With the slightest bow, she swept her arm towards Loki and called out, “Hail our king! King Loki! May he rule for centuries to come!”_

_They chanted his name after her._

_As they cheered, she looked over to him. He smiled at the sight before him, but she noticed that it didn’t reach his eyes. When he looked to her, he offered his hand. “Come, darling, there’s a realm to rule.” Slightly smiling back, she placed her hand in his, gold band around her wrist glinting in the light._

 

* * *

 

When she awoke, she immediately regretted it. She wasn’t in pain anymore but she was still exhausted. Even if the dream she had was odd, she still chose sleep. Sleep was a much more comforting idea, warm and secure. She deserved at least that much after everything, yes?

The shuffling of paper and another’s presence made her open her eyes though. As much as she just wanted to sleep, she needed to make sure. She had to see who it was. It better not be, _it can’t be-_

She sighed in relief.

Loki sat at the table, looking through the papers on the table. Judging by his almost bored expression, he was either unimpressed or had already seen them. (She leaned towards the former.) Green eyes flicked from the papers and to her.

Just the thought of talking was already tiring, so she opted on simply projecting her thoughts. It was as simple as reading minds. It was _not_ hearing thoughts that was harder to control. **_How long have I been asleep?_**

He raised a brow at her. “At most twenty minutes. You seem to enjoy fighting against my magic. Is accepting a simple sleeping spell so hard to do after such a… _delicate_ situation?” His tone is teasing, but an undertone of anger is still easily recognizable.

She shuddered at the thought of what happen. She ignores how suddenly tight and dirty her skin feels and focuses on Loki. **_Magic?_** The idea of magic seems absurd, but everything about him is already out of place. **_Is that how you’re able to do certain things? Like being able to withstand high calibre bullets? And that medicine that healed me earlier?_** Her hand moved to her shoulder where the previous injury was scabbing and scarring.

The raven-haired male smirked at her. “Well, it comes with being a god and a sorcerer.” He watched the slight doubt and high curiosity in her eyes. “Honestly, don’t be so doubtful. You’ve seen a few of my memories, have you not?”

She silently mulled over his words. She had seen the memories, but a _god?_ **_A god?_** There was reasonable doubt within her as she repeated him. Could she really believe that? **_How is that possible? Where_ exactly _are you from?_** She can’t help but ask because she wants to know. She’s even drawn the place but she knows nothing of it.

He glared at her and she rolled her eyes. She knows what’s angered him about her question. She can remember titbits of those unpleasant memories. **_It’s not like I asked_ what _you are. Damn. I honestly couldn’t care less about that._**

“You ‘couldn’t care less’? I highly doubt that.”

**_You know what, just forget I asked._** She shifted in her bed, from her side to her back. **_Why are you looking through my drawings anyways? They’re not all that good._**

“On the contrary, they are. This is how you kept yourself busy?”

She shrugged. **_I needed_ something _to do._** Turning her head, she again looked at him. **_Did you see-_**

“The drawing of me?” he asked, a small smile tugging at his lips. He wanted to know why she had drawn him. He leaned a bit over the table and continued, “Why did you draw me?”

Though she didn’t know why, she blushed at his question. **_I don’t know._**

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’m keeping it.” He didn’t sound the least bit apologetic.

The tired brunette huffed and pouted. She didn’t like the idea of him keeping it. It wasn’t even that good! But she already knew there was no point in fighting him over it. **_You’re only doing that because it’s of you._** It most definitely inflated his ego, knowing he was one of the subjects of the drawings.

“Well, that and you had drawn it. Exceptionally well, might I add.” He found it amusing how she flushed at the compliment. It was like she was completely unused to it.

She turned away again and stared at the ceiling. In the silence she started to play with the bracelet on her wrist as she tried to turn away her negative thoughts. But when she touched the cool metal it wasn’t crude like usual. It was smooth and delicate, and thinner than before. Raising it, she noticed the gold metal hang from her wrist.

(Her thoughts flashed to the dream but she chased it away.)

**_What happened to the other one?_** She asked him as she waved her hand, indicating to the bracelet.

His green eyes settled on the gold bracelet even though he knew what she was talking about. “I believe it suits you better.”

Looking at him, she knows there’s more to it but leaves it for now. 


	14. Poison Thoughts

“What’s happening with…” Just the idea of, of _him_ leaves a sour taste in her mouth. Anger flared at the back of her sleepy mind.

He raised a brow at the woman. It was only now that she chose to talk aloud and it was for _this_ unfinished question? “You best not be asking me to _pardon_ him.” Even if he _did_ have the least bit of real respect towards this weird Midgardian, it would have vanished in an instant if she asked for her attacker to be released. _She better not be_ that _forgiving. No mortal could honestly be_ that merciful.

She weakly scoffed before glaring at him. She was more offended than anything. “ _Seriously?_ Yeah, because I’d do that,” she replied sarcastically. “I want to make sure that ass gets what he deserves,” she spat, voice laced with malice. She promised, “If you don’t do anything, I gladly will.”

He lightly smirked at her. “So vindictive.” _Good_.  This vengeful side was surprisingly attractive; there was a certain beauty about it.

“How can I not be?” Ivona retorted, slowly crossing her arms.

He shrugged. “A simple statement, darling. I would actually be quite disappointed if you were so forgiving.”

The brunette looked at him blankly, bitterness quietly prickling at her. _How dare he even think she was_ that _soft._ “Maybe my morals are screwed up, but I’m not the ‘forgive and forget’ type of person. I’m completely opposite,” she said, giving a sarcastic smile. “I _don’t_ forgive and I _don’t_ forget.”

“I wonder though, how far does that rule apply? What of the treatment you had been given by your parents?” He pushed the topic of her parents, for he wanted to see her reaction. Although there was the possibility that she would lash out, he mainly expected her to ignore him afterwards.

After all this time she didn’t expect him to ask about them; therefore, she didn’t know how to react when he did. Her mind halted at the question. She wasn’t sure whether she should answer or not. “Don’t you think that could be a bit of touchy subject?” Ivona said with the lightest of sighs.

Loki shrugged. He didn’t really care if he offended her.  “Then currently – I took you for the use of your skills. I purposely abused you and hold a comrade’s life over your head as leverage.”

Although she felt like throttling him for recounting those events, she stayed calm when she added, “Not to mention you basically claimed me as your property.” She held up her wrist that was adorned by the golden band as proof. “Also you oppress me by not allowing me simple socializing. Granted,” she swallowed, “ _some_ aren’t the… _best_ to socialize with, but it’s still wrong.”

He faked offense over her words. “Is there such a problem with my presence?”

The mutant pursed her lips. “Humans are social creatures. I like talking to people. Just because I talk to you doesn’t mean I forgive your mistreatments. I utterly hate you for it.” She glared.

And he smirked back. “Yet you welcome my touch when you claim fearing another’s touch.”

Though tired, she sat herself up. “And I thought you were intelligent,” she mocked him. “Don’t mistake my comfortableness with enjoyment or forgiveness. In fact, back there you were a way of getting me out of _that_ hell hole, a means to an end.” She gave him a sarcastic smile because she remembers his past. _‘So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have_ use _of me?’_

He’s calm, if not smug as he watches her tiredly hold herself up. Inwardly she’s confused over it, but keeps an air of irritation as she looks back at him. “So as I mean to use you, you mean to use me. Interesting, yet I still think differently.”

She raised a brow at him, questioning his thinking process. “How? Are you just that twistedly confident that you think I’d remotely like you?”

“And the dreams?”

She gaped at Loki, shocked. “The – you _know_ about them?” The question spilled from Ivona’s mouth in a hurriedly manner. Then a though clicked in her mind. “Are _you_ the cause of them‽”

“I _may_ be influencing them. But I’ve no _knowledge_ of what you see.” He said it as if it was the most normal thing in the worlds. He acted as though it was morally correct.

**_You’re no better. You have similar abilities! You could control just like him!_ **

“Are you willing to share?”

“No, I’m not _willing_ ,” she snapped at him. “And in a way, I’m not entirely surprised with the dreams now.” It helps now knowing this because she can just place all the blame on him. **_Like you wouldn’t like those humans being ruled_** _, her mind sneered at her. **Just make sure to be at the top with this man!**_ She ignored her darker thoughts and continued speaking. “Why would you influence my dreams‽ What ideas were you trying to give me?”

She was utterly flustered over his lie and he loved it. He knew she was having odd dreams and he just wanted to know what they were. He’s sure he could easily influence her dreams even though her conscious mind was harder, but he didn’t bother. It wasn’t needed when just a few choice words could do the job. He wasn’t known as Silver Tongue and Wordsmith for nothing. “Well, what do you think?”

She clearly remembers it all and the way she continues fighting it. “You succeed.” There was only the _tiniest_ look of apprehension that showed over his interest when she said those two words. “The humans lost and you ruled over them.”

“ _And?_ ” Loki pushed.

She hesitated, not wanting to say the rest. Slowly she swung her legs over the bed, back facing him as she looked towards the bathroom door. “I was by your side. I did, well, didn’t – I’m not sure – but I kind of ruled with you. I don’t know,” she said quietly. “It wasn’t entirely clear.” She soon became restless when he didn’t say anything afterwards. He had to be thinking about what she said, but what the god thought, she didn’t know. And she _would not_ try to find out. He has his own powers, he’ll probably know if she tries.

Getting sick of the uncomfortable silence, she unsteady got up from the bed. She was tired after the attack, but she wanted to take a shower. _To be clean_. But when her hand touched the door handle, the familiar velvet voice spoke up again.

“And what do you think of the fate of your attacker?”

Without turning around she said, “Here on Earth, there’s an old saying: _Revenge is a dish best served cold._ While it’s morally incorrect, I still agree with it.” And she closed the door behind her, leaving Loki to grin widely at her words.

* * *

 

She stood under the hot stream of water that fell from the showerhead. With hands outstretched, bracing herself against the wall, she let herself get drenched, skin soaking it up.

_Not hot enough_

It was turned to its hottest setting but it simply wasn’t enough. Her skin was dirty. She was dirty. Her skin itches and burns at the thought of what happened.

_Must become clean_

With the small bar of soap, she begins to scrub herself; her arms, her neck, her torso.

_Unclean_

A small part of her mind she knows this isn’t necessary. She’s aware her actions are driven by her fear and disgust. That bastard had touched her and had tried to rape her. Just the thought makes it difficult for her to breath. It’s suffocating.

_He’ll be gone soon enough,_ she tells herself. _If nothing’s done with him, she would take it into her own hands._

Her skin is raw and red but she can’t stop. She cries in frustration. _Contaminated, polluted, tainted, filthy_ , her mind screams at her. She can’t breathe; it burns. She slides down the wet wall of the shower, one hand over her mouth and the other clawing at her chest. The whole reality of everything is just weighing down on her mind, breaking her, causing her to hyperventilate.

After waking it up, it was (unfortunately) a comforting sight to see Loki. And despite some things, it was good to just talk to him after _it_. Their short conversation sort of suspended reality for her. It was until he asked about her parents that everything slowly crashed down. _Wait_ , no, it was when _she_ asked what would happen to her attacker. Her question brought up anger. His questions brought out a mess, just a complete mess. Because that’s what she was.

_A fucking mess_

Water continued to pour over her as she clawed at her skin. It was flushed red from the hot water and her arms were bright when her nails dragging over it. She still feels his touch and she just _wants it gone!_

It feels tight and it burns. Tears escape from her eyes and mix with the water that showered her as she franticly scratched at her arms.

By this point her common sense is gone and she’s barely conscious of what she’s doing. Her irrational fears have grabbed control of her and whisper for her to get rid of the feeling. It just needs to go away and it’ll be well. His touch just needs to be gone.

_Gone, clean, **fucking scum touched me.**_

**Filth. Good riddance. A human like that does not deserve to live.** The venom in the back of her mind poisons her thoughts. But those thoughts aren’t as loud, her mind still screams at her.

_Unclean._

**_Find a way._ **

She crawled out of the shower and immediately saw the mirror. In one fluid move, she stood up and broke the glass. Uncaring and with purpose in mind, she ignored the sharpness and grabbed a shard. 


	15. Giving In Is a Sellout, a Defeat

> One of the things humans are known for is their resilience. Through all their wars, sicknesses, and overall destruction, manmade and natural, they still live and evolve. Devastation saddens them, yet unites the community. It’s that animalistic nature of theirs; they do it as a way to survive.
> 
> However when it comes to an individual, there is always a breaking point. The only difference is how high or low their limit is. Some have the ability to not be effected by a particularly stressful event, while others cannot deal it whatsoever. Those that struggle can go into a daze of mourning and depression, or a flurry of anxiety or anger. Some could even cause hurt to those around them or themselves.
> 
> But they are some that struggle, yet are still resilient. Give them a reason and they may bounce back. They fight the issue, fight themselves, and survive for better or worse because there is a reason.
> 
> **_To live. To fight._ ** _  
>   
> _

_A calloused hand ran over the scars on her arm before retreating. “So I’ve harmed yourself before, but judging by how faded they are, you’ve haven’t in a while.” Clint sat across the new possible recruit, Ivona Page, the telepathic mutant who had helped him gain more information on their target then SHIELD could get. She was intelligent and showed potential. The way she spoke and held herself showed that she was hardened by life, that she was strong and could hopefully keep up with SHIELD’s work._

_“Yeah, I suppose I haven’t in a while.” She fidgeted in her seat, her bared arm outstretched over the table in between the two. It was a relief when his hand left her arm because it meant she could cover her scars and bring her arm back to her body._

_“SHIELD will want you to go through psychiatric evaluation,” he warned her. His sharp eyes watched as she rolled her sleeve back down and how she seemed to cradle into herself. It was the only real weakness he noticed so far. He had even noticed how she seemed to go rigid when he felt the deep scars that peppered her arm._ She didn’t like to be touched.

_She shrugged at his warning because she expected that much. It had to be protocol for such an organization. “I figured as much.” With her sleeve back over her arm, she again looks over the agent that had kindly offered her a job that could greater her life. Based on what he had said, he was nearly twice her age, at thirty-four. But she still thought the same when she had seen him the first time at the club. He was good looking with his eye blues and short brown hair. He wasn’t entirely talkative and she was grateful for it._

_Not caring much about the current topic, she changed it. “So what now?”_

_\---_

_The newest place she was introduced to was a modern office with dark oak furniture and light, plush seats. It was the psychiatric evaluation. The psychiatrist in front of her was an older male with greying black hair and coal black eyes that hid behind wire glasses. At first she thought he was an all right being. However her thought of him changed when they began talking about her being a mutant. At that time she reached into his mind and heard his weary thoughts. Surprisingly he didn’t think of her as a monster, but he thought of her as untrustworthy._ Always with the suspicions. What happened to giving another the benefit of the doubt?

_A half hour into their discussion he mentioned something to turn their conversation into something deeper. “I’ve been told by an agent that they noticed that you seem to avoid being touched by people. Would I reach over the desk and try to touch your arm, how would you react?” Almost as if he was going to do as he said, he placed the pen in his hand down onto his clipboard that lay on this neat desk and leaned towards her._

_She pursed her lips in annoyance. She knew who told him; it had to be agent Barton. She wasn’t mad at him though. It was an understandable concern. But she didn’t like how this doctor would just ask her a question in such a way. “I wouldn’t lash out if that’s what you’re wondering. I don’t like other’s touching me. Typically I just tense up from the contact, that’s all.”_

_He nodded his head while picking the pen back up and wrote something down onto the paper in front of him. “Have any major incidents happen in your childhood?” he inquired, tapping the tip of his pen against the desk’s surface._

_The brunette silently watched the pen’s tip hit the wooden surface, a tiny tick of irritation going through her with each tap of the pen. She took some time before answering. “My sister was a victim of a hit-and-run when I was ten; my parents blamed me for her death.”_

_“And do_ you _blame yourself?”_

_She paused a beat before answering, as if thinking. “I did back then. I know now it wasn’t entirely my fault though.” Ivona shrugged._

_“But you still think_ part _of it was.” He nodded. “It’s normal for victims of traumatic experiences to blame themselves even if it’s not their fault. What happened afterwards?”_

_“For the next six years my parents abused me,” she replied with only the slightest bit of emotion._

_“How so?”_

_“Only verbally and physically,” she answered while looking at her hands. “They blamed me for all their problems. They believed I was a freak of nature by being a mutant,” she finished with a short breath, eyes downcast._

_“And how did you react to that? Did you hate them or forgive them?” he continued with his questions._

_Inwardly she sighed. These questions were annoying. “It was…a mix of both. Before I was kicked out, I believed their words. I’d sometimes wonder why I couldn’t be the daughter they wished for.”_

_“And do you think that maybe the way they treated you caused you to hate another’s touch?”_

_She stopped to think about it, but she already knew it was part of the reason. “Yeah, it could be.”_

_“And what are your feelings towards your parents now? Do you hate them for the treatment?”_

_“No. I just wish they knew better.”_ **Yes. I hope they will burn in hell someday.**

 

* * *

 

In her daze she dropped the mirror shard to the ground. The hand that had held it bled from the wound that went across her palm and fingers, and shook from the pain. Blood so red slowly ran down her other arm from the cuts she had inflicted.

_No._

_This isn’t right,_ a part of her reasoned with her. _Nearly eight years you have kept yourself well. You are stronger than this!_

She let out a broken sob when she realized what she had done. As she slid down to the ground against the wall, she unwillingly thought of all that’s happened. Her stressed mind was a traitor and showed her, just _drowned_ her in the memories of the attack, of their leering and laughing faces and Ethan’s grabbing hands.

She placed her head in her bloodied hands, ignoring the deep red as her mind became fuzzy. But through the cotton-filled daze and racing thoughts she found one memory to hold onto. It was always the same that kept her from doing anything to drastic. _Her sister, her darling sister._

And then another face came to mind, the man who had captured her, who oppressed her – she owed him. She hates owing people because she’s the type that doesn’t allow a debt stay unpaid.

At the thought her mind slightly sobered, her body stopped it’s shaking. Her hands slid from her head and folded together in front of her, mouth resting bloody knuckles. Cold, like how her body felt, and almost unfocused, from the pain both mental and physical, brown eyes opened, bloodshot, and stared into nothingness.

Plans were to be made.

_But first, this mess would need to be dealt with_ , she thought as she reached for a small towel to stop her most current mistake.

 

* * *

 

The dark-haired sorcerer smiled as he stood outside the door of the bathroom. She had the sense to hide away from him and breakdown entirely. As angry as the attack had made him, he was not one to be sympathetic. He wouldn’t be her shoulder to cry on. Actually he would rather have her quickly learn that her actions were pointless. There is neither time for tears nor a use of self harm; it was only another weakness.

He smugly smirked at the woman, though unseen. That bracelet he adorned her with gave him so much information on her because of the link. It allowed him a connection that only benefited him. Because of how guarded her mind was to his, just another advantage of her ability, it was surprisingly harder to get into her mind. It was only easier with physical contact. However the bracelet was that proxy that helped him with the task, what helped him easily see into that complicated and stubborn mind.

_‘Revenge is a dish best served cold’_ , her words rang through his head. When she had said those cold words, he had seen the darkness of her thoughts, the hate she held for those who treated her badly. _Her parents. Her co-workers. His soon-to-be-dead lackey._

She even reserved some of her hate towards him.

Naturally, he took it as a challenge. He would have her worship him and the very ground he stood upon.

_Rebreak the things already broken and rebuild them up again._


	16. A Special Kind of Death

Stable unlike before, she left the bathroom with a small towel wrapped around her wounded arm, her injured palm pressing into it to stop the bleeding. She was only half dressed, with the top half of her SHIELD uniform hanging from her waist again, revealing a bloodied wife beater underneath. She didn’t really care much to hide the wound; her ‘king’ had to be deaf not to hear her breakdown.

Ivona didn’t even bother to look for Loki when she stepped out, but she did stop when her eyes landed on the bed. Upon the sheets were supplies to clean and dress her wound along with different, clean clothes. She pushed aside the clothes for the time being and focused on the offered medical supplies. With the kit placed under her arm, she retreated back to the bathroom and started tending to herself.

As she cleaned her hand first, her mind reeled with possibilities. But the more she reflected, the darker her thoughts turned. And they continued returning to previous thoughts: “ _Like you wouldn't like those humans being ruled. Just make sure to be at the top with this man!”_

_Ha!_ She scoffed at her own thoughts. While the idea was becoming appealing the more she thought about it, she knew it wasn’t a solid idea. It all depended if she could honestly trust him – to let her join and to give her some of her own power.

_Like the dreams._

“First I’ll have to see what happens to _Ethan_ ,” she spat his name as she tightened the gauze around her wound. She took in a sharp breath, pain coursing through her arm from accidently tightening it too much. With a soft grunt of frustration and some struggle, she tied the bandage around her arm. After examining her work, she slouched against the wall and sank to the ground. With a light thud, she leaned her head back, closing her eyes.

She felt so tired from everything, from her near-rape to her complete breakdown. Not only that, but it was actually mentally exhausting when she would fight Loki. There were moral standards in this world, ones that most people typically abide by. And what he wanted, it was against everything people fought for. People strived for equality and freedom. And his logic, fight meaningless violence with more violence, it was ridiculous.

_But that was life. There was no way to stop violence with words. Even SHIELD used the same method._

She sighed, further slouching into the wall, as if wishing for it to swallow her up.  

Yet she couldn’t bring herself to completely condemn his ideas either. She couldn’t because she could also benefit from them. Honestly she didn’t mind the idea because subconsciously she believed it to be true.

However she also knew that view was wrong; therefore she felt complete guilt and denial for the longest time.

But here, with him, she felt like she could be accepted more – especially with him knowing her past and she knowing some of his. And she wasn’t stupid; she knew that the new bracelet allowed him into her mind despite her own barriers. She wasn’t too mad about it though. (In fact it almost made her smile twistedly, cynically laughing at his need for control by knowing her thoughts, aware he might be paying attention.)

And really there was no point in fighting him. It only caused her more harm. Unconsciously she sneered as she thought of everything. But something else came into mind.

**_Bargin. Make a deal._ **

She could help Loki, learn what he’s doing. If Clint was ever released from Loki’s control and he remembered everything, she would just alter his memory of her. Because when (if) Loki lost, she didn’t want to end up as an enemy of SHIELD. It was never a good idea to be on SHIELD’s radar.

Oh, she was well aware of the hole she was digging herself into - though how deep, she would never know. It could possibly be her own grave that she was digging, and yet she was, with much difficulty, pushing through.

_A special kind of death she slowly put herself through._

She sighed, putting her head in her hands for a moment before she finally got up. It was time to adapt to her situation and that was what she would do.

Going back to the main room, she shed her clothes at the bed and changed into the previously offered clean clothes. She sighed as she looked through them, actually happy and grateful for the new pair; a clean t-shirt that was comfortable and stretchy, a pair of jeans and a jacket made of soft leather. It was comfy, even more so than her SHIELD outfit.

In fact, she was happy to be out of the leather outfit – not that she hated it, but that it reminded her that was originally SHIELD personnel. She felt some guilt for betraying them. They had given her an actual _job_ , not some piece of shit that required dancing and taking clothes off for sick, perverted assholes.

But she swallowed down the emotions and steadied her mind. She would bottle them up and deal with them when the war finished. Letting out her emotions already caused her to do something foolish and dangerous. It couldn’t happen again.

Not now when she had to confront Loki.

* * *

 

He waited patiently for her, knowing she was on her way finally. And he knew what was on her mind. He smirked at her ideas, her bargain. Some would call her defective, switching sides based on who currently controlled the situation. But he was going to capitalise that and fully corrupt that double-sided mind of hers, because she did agreed with him; though was in denial about it.

In front of him those he controlled held down the man that had orchestrated the attack on Ivona, on the woman that he had claimed for his own interest.

With the soft sound of boots thumping against the cold concrete floor, Ivona’s arrival was announced. She walked into the room and towards their ‘king’. Standing at his side, she let her gaze wander to the front, away from the ground. When seeing the man who tried to rape her and could have killed her, Ivona allowed the dark side of her mind to finally take over. It was as if the evil the consumed their so-called ‘king’ slowly poisoned her through the gold metal that clasped her wrist.  

“Tell me, Loki,” she started, only looking from the corner of her eyes at him, “were I to join you, what would I gain? What would be guaranteed if I followed you?” Her words were careful, testing. Her visibly clenched jaw showed off her edginess.

He smiled at her, well aware of the twisted thoughts going through her mind. 


	17. A Sealed Fate

_Weren’t they already through with this by now, the young woman dully thought as she stared in front of her. Across from her sat the psychiatrist SHIELD had made her go to when she first joined to make sure she was even mentally stable. By now she had finished training and had been an agent for some time. And yet here she was, still seeing this old man, whom she highly detested._

_“Miss Page,” the doctor lightly chastised the brunette for her apparent lack of attention._

_The almost twenty-one year old inwardly groaned and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “My apologies, sir.”_

_He gave her a hardened look, well aware of her insincerity. “If you are going to be so disinterested in_ my _questions, then what would_ you _like to talk about?”_

_She eyed him for a moment before tilting her head in thought. “Hmm, well I’ve been seeing you for what, two, three years almost!” Leaning forward in her chair with elbows resting against her knees, she tightly smiled at the male. “So, what I wanna know, doc, is what your thoughts about me are? Isn’t it sometimes good to see yourself from the eyes of others?”_

_He shook his head, dark eyes watching her. “At times that concept is not helpful. One’s self could grow based on the perceptions of others.” As he tried to semi-lecture her, she raised a hand to try to stop him._

_“Yes, I understand. That’s called the looking-glass self. And trust me, if that concept had been applied to me as I grew up during my Identity vs. Role Confusion stage, then I surely would have become the monster all other’s believed me to be.” When her psychiatrist gave the slightly show of surprise at her knowledge of basic psychosocial development, she smirked. “Sorry, Doc, but it’s pretty easy to learn things when you’re able to absorb information like a sponge. Anyways,” she changed the topic, waving her hand, “I’m just asking what your_ professional _opinion of me is. C’mon, you gotta have written things about me. And it is rather rude looking into another’s mind, eh?”_

_The old man sighed and took off his glasses, wiping the lenses with his shirt. He quietly resisted the urge to rub his temples. At the beginning she was a little withdrawn, judging and untrusting of almost of those around her. Now she showed a truer personality, cynical, testing - troublemaker with an attitude. It was one of the reasons why they continued making her go to him._

_“You are, Miss Page, an opportunist at best. You weigh your options and pick your actions based not on morals, but the chances of survival. For example, you essentially used agent Barton as a means of getting you out of the club by offering information on our target. Yet, the entire time you worked there and knew of the criminals that came, you never went to the police because it would morally good. Do you agree with this observation, Miss Page?”_

_She slowly tilted her head from side to side as she mulled over his words. Giving a sharp nod, she agreed. It was true; she was aware how she planned to used Clint. She liked the man, but felt no actual guilt for using him in a way. Like the older male said, she simply took the opportunity that was presented to her. If she had gone to the police, then she would have just placed a target on her head for the rest of the criminals. “Anything else, Doc?”_

_He hesitated before relenting one reason why SHIELD worried about her. “What I’ve observed from speaking with you these past thirty months is your view on meaningfulness. Have you ever heard of the term ‘nihilism’, miss?”_

_“No, I believe I have.”_

_“Strictly speaking, this is now more philosophical then psychological. However, it is a worry because it ties in with your personality. Nihilism is a doctrine suggesting, in layman’s terms, the denial of any meaningful aspects of life. You are two forms of a nihilist, one more so than the other.” When she rolled her hand at him to explain, he continued. For the first time, he had gotten her absolute attention. Were it not for her hating to talk about herself, he would have pinned her interest for narcissism._

_“You believe that life has no intrinsic meaning or value. You consider human life insignificant, without purpose. That is existential nihilism, and a worry to the organization. We at SHEILD work to fight for Earth, for human life. That means we care about human life, we see_ purpose _. Can you at least understand that?”_

_She nodded once more, albeit slowly and hesitant. “I do, sir,” she answered more seriously. “But I…”_

_“Then we have ethical nihilism, a possible worry of your morality? You’ve not killed for the sake of killing, yet when you did your first mission and had to kill, you showed no signs of regret. This ties to you not really caring for human life.” He paused when she glared at him._

_“I cared about my sister’s life, sir.”_

_“Yes, your sister. But tell me,” he returned to the subject once more, “morals, right and wrong, are they inherent or constructed?” He tested her on her views, inwardly hurrying as he watched her slowly build her wall back up._

_She raised a brow at him. “Morality? Constructed, if anything. Believe me when I say, I know right from wrong, Doc. That’s why I’ve done no crimes. But humans are the only ones who’ve made morals as animals have no qualms with killing. That is why when someone kills out of anger, hate, or simple_ joy _, they are called an animal, a monster,” she answered coolly._

_Her psychiatrist leaned back in his chair, hands folded in his lap. “Yes,” he slowly said, “quite true.” Glancing at the clock behind her, he said, “Today’s session is done, thank you.”_

_As Ivona walked out and closed the door, he quietly thought to himself, in the near future what would happen to her? He hoped greatly that the young woman would not get corrupted from her opportunist nature._

* * *

 

“Guaranteed?” She turned her face fully towards him as he repeated her. “How willing is someone for security?”

She briefly kept eye contact with him, staring back blankly. Ivona then tore her gaze from him and with confidence, strode towards the man held down before them. As she past one of his controlled lackeys, she blatantly stole a combat knife from his vest. With a heavy footed boot, she squarely kicked Ethan in the chest, causing him to fall onto his back. When he fell, the men had let him go, but before he could even attempt to scramble back up, she promptly and harshly planted her foot back on his chest.

She leaned her weight into her step, marking sure to cause him discomfort. Propping her elbow against her raised leg, Ivona casually held the knife. “Quite the role reversal, ain’t it? How’s it feel, with arms bound and now at the hands of the woman you had attacked? I _warned_ you that you wouldn’t be able to get away with your actions,” she spoke to the man in a condescending tone, nimbly twirling the knife in hand.

He gave her a smug grin, tilting his head as he looked at, not bothering with the fake personality he used from before. “I only regret not slitting your throat better. Well, that, and not getting the chance to take this place’s _whore,_ ” Ethan spat through gritted teeth, happily insulting the woman.

She merely blinked, her face showing no emotion. Then with a sudden swiftness none expected, she slashed his neck to her blade exactly as he had done. She nonchalantly dropped the combat knife near him as he gasped in pain. “An eye for an eye, eh? Don’t worry, darling; you have a far worse punishment coming for your attempt to take what the king has claimed as his.”

As she speaks those words she knows she’s sealed her fate. However, to adapt to her situation, she knows she needs to submit.

Standing straight, the brunette dusted her hands against her jeans as if just being near him dirtier her. Ignoring the withering body below her, she turned to Loki and gave a shallow bow. As she had done in one of her dreams, she put her fist above her heart.

“ _My King.”_


	18. Preparations

He gave a smug, twisted smile at the young agent, who bowed before him. Her dark hair brushed against the sides of her face as her head lowered, but brown eyes never broke eye contact with him. Her face showed boldness, while her posture was submissive yet still tense. She was trying to hide the unease she felt towards him, because now she had sworn her loyalty to him. She isn’t sure what to expect afterwards.

And it amuses him, how her mind is reeling with simple worries.

After a moment the brunette pulled herself back up, straightening her posture with her hands clasped behind her back. There was a rigidness to her as she quietly waited for him. Her eyes rarely left his form, only to quickly glance around her and then back to him.

She visibly relaxed, though just a fraction, when he ordered her to follow him. She complied as he turned on his heels and went to leave the room. She silently wondered what would happen to the traitor of the group, but didn't voice her ask. She had the general idea that Loki wouldn't let him live.

Just as they stepped from the room, she heard the rustle of the men moving behind them. She heard Ethan's laboured breaths become erratic from fear. But she didn't bother to glance. Oddly enough she felt detached from the situation; at least she thought so before they were farther from the room. A sudden thrill of satisfaction ran through her body when she heard an agonized scream.

By that point she was walking side by side with Loki. He watched her from the corner of his eyes, seeing the slightest sign of elation showing through the emotionless mask she had adapted after swearing loyalty. From the connection through the golden band, he felt the relief and twisted happiness that ran through her at the sounds of the traitor's suffering. She was enjoying the revenge.

"I suppose I should thank you," she hummed as they continued their walk. She turned her head more towards him, eyes looking up at him for a short moment. "Scum like him are undeserving. This world will not miss that. So thanks," she lamely said with her gaze back in front of her. Her hand unconscious rubbed the golden metal around her wrist, whether a nervous tick or a source of comfort, it was unknown.

Calculating eyes watched her closely, and soon a warped smirk followed. “Information then, I believe you can give that to show _gratitude_.”

Her brown eyes looked back to him, ready.

* * *

 

“What threats are there to my plans?” Loki asked as they stopped where Dr Selvig was working with the Cosmic Cube. They had conversed a great many things on their way here, but now was the real business.

She paused before answering his question, pulling all the information she had from _now_ former workers. “SHIELD will always be one,” she confirmed what he already knew. “Some time ago, Fury made a plan of putting together a team. However, they are a threat to each other as much as they are to you,” she added, knowing that fact could be used as an advantage.

He turned to face her completely, little space between the two as he spoke. “I want to know everything you know about this team of his. Is there any problems with that?” He lightly mocked her, despite being serious.

She was aware he was testing her, and she nearly scoffed. Instead she gave him a mildly conceited look, her lips pulling upward. “Something as simple as information? Don’t doubt me, _sir._ They feared me because I was a telepath. I was given high level access to files because they knew I could get to it otherwise.

“Anyways, it was called the Avenger’s Initiative.” She started to explain, trying to pay no heed to their close proximity to another. In all honestly, it didn’t bother her, but it’s not something that could be overlooked easily. “Though the idea was scrapped, I’m quite positive Fury will bring it back. There were six who were part of that plan, one of which you’ve already have, Barton. All have their own skills, powers.

“Stark is a genius with a weaponized, metal suit. His weakness, the miniaturized arc reactor in his chest and him without his suit,” she lightly tapped the middle of her chest as she spoke of Stark.  “Rogers is basically a human experiment that now has super human strength and reflexes, along with a shield that can honestly withstand _anything_.” She specifically stressed the last word, knowing it was the truth.

“Romanoff is a master spy and expert fighter. You may have a silver tongue, but so does she,” she added with a light smile, before becoming serious again. “Banner is, hmm, how should say this,” she stopped for a moment, tapping her chin in thought, “someone with a bit of an anger issue. No…quite a _large_ anger problem. Angered, threatened, he becomes what could easily be described as a monster. No known weaknesses in that form, but it seems like he has no control, with no mind when he is like that.”

Loki easily took in her words, understanding her little hints and warning. He didn’t bother saying it, but the warnings were useless. He wouldn’t need it. He _would_ win. “Meaning he would even attack allies,” he mused at the benefit.

Ivona nodded. “Precisely. And it’s something you can take advantage of,” she stated as if knowing what ran through his mind.

“And the last one?”

There was a lull of silence between them as she hesitated to answer. She knew of the last one and all that came to mind was his feeling of hate towards him. “…Thor.” The brunette silently watched for any reaction towards his _false_ -brother’s name.

And the only reaction she got was a roll of his eyes and a shrug. “He will be of no concern.” He brushed it off as a joke, seeing the demi-god as no real threat at the time.

“Er, okay. I’m guessing the bridge, it was the only way of getting here from Asgard?” Inwardly, she was baffled at herself with the question. The name of… _realm_ that she hadn’t known of before, had so easily rolled off her tongue as she spoke. But she kept that to herself, planning to think about that matter another time.

“There is also the use of dark energy, but the only one other than I who could do that, well it’ll be quite the strain on them,” he answered, a slight hint of dark humour in his voice.

She nodded, letting go the matter of any possibility of Thor’s return. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she gave a tight smile. “Then the only worry is SHIELD and four possible ‘superheroes’.”

_“Let’s start the preparations, shall we?”_


End file.
